My Baby

My youngest, my baby.

Her entrance in this world was definitely not one of normalcy or calmness.

She decided to come into this world 6 weeks early, but even at 6 weeks early, she was 5 lbs, 15 oz, which is pretty good. Imagine what she would have weighed if she waited 6 more weeks. She probably would have been like my oldest, who was 10 lbs, 6 oz!

So she came into this world 6 weeks early and she had premature lungs.

She had to be in NICU for about a week, which really isn't THAT long compared to a lot of babies and the fact that she had a collapsed lung. Here is a picture of her in NICU at the hospital. The blue lights are because she was also VERY jaundiced as well.

That was one of the worst and longest weeks of my life, worrying about her.

But she's a fighter. And she came through it just fine.

She's now a rambunctious preschooler, however the girl has got issues.

She's hesitant (to put it lightly) to try new things.

Like clothes, or shoes.

I've been trying to get her to wear sandals with a strap on the back for school, but she doesn't like them because they don't "feel right".

Or she won't wear a dress because it doesn't "feel right", even though she's worn it plenty of times in the past.

This morning she was literally crying in the car on the way to school because the dress all of the sudden felt "different".

Well, she got through the day and she was just fine.

And today we bought new sandals with a strap on the back to wear to school. And now she doesn't want to go to school tomorrow because she'll have to wear the sandals.

Sometimes she frustrates me so much with all of this and we've literally tried on at least a dozen pairs of shoes. She'll run in them, skip in them, walk in them while we're in the store, but if I ask her if she wants them, she'll say, "No".

UGH!

And then I just want to hug her and keep reassuring her that it's okay. It's not going to be bad. The shoes will be fine. And the dress will be fine.

Maybe it's because she knows she's going to be going to Kindergarten next month and she's worried about that.

Like I said, she can have issues.

She's definitely one of those people who likes to know what's going on in advance.

Days in advance.

All children are NOT the same.

I can definitely attest to that.

Sometimes you have to change your parenting styles with each child, because the same thing doesn't always work with other ones.

She certainly keeps me on my toes though!

My baby.

She may drive me crazy at times (yea, and I'm going through the pre-teen years with the eldest, no fun either), but I love them both so much and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

Bored?

Either that or maybe she's trying to recreate being in the womb again?

Sunday Afternoon...

And mom gets to sit in a chair and read a magazine.

Now that's what I call a good day. :)

Overheard Conversation

My eldest to her friend:

"I'm glad "What Not To Wear" is on when we're kids like this. That way when we grow up, we will know better"

Just Me Worrying.....Again....That's What I Do.....

I worry.

I admit it. I worry about shit before I should even think of worry about it.

Tomorrow is the last day of school for my eldest for the summer.

The next upcoming school year, she will be going into 7th grade, the junior high portion of her K-8 school.

We bought a junior high yearbook for a friend who moved away earlier this year.

The eldest was looking through it.

She has a crush on a boy in there who is a year older than her.

So I started perusing through it.

And I see the "Lunch Box Social" pages.

It's where girls put together a lunch and the boys bid on it.

The boys do the same later on in the year.

So I worry that no boy is going to bid on her lunch, should she decide to do it.

And that she will be crushed.

She's starting to enter an age where it's starting to be a "social status" thing too.

It's not that she's unpopular.

But I know that she's not SUPER popular either.

I watched her at the 6th grade picnic today.

I did see times where she was just walking around by herself.

It made my heart break a little.

But the good thing was that it was only for a short time, and most of the time I did see her with friends, or playing volleyball.

Like I said. I worry.

I do encourage her to get involved with sports and school activities.

And she is a really good soccer player.

And good with softball too.

And I told her today that when she does get a boyfriend or a guy that likes her, that she shouldn't put aside her aspirations just because of him.

That if she has a softball or soccer or volleyball game, he should be interested in her interests as well, as her being interested in his.

I want her to be confident in herself.

And proud of herself.

But not conceited, obviously.

But the whole boy issue....

I know hubby certainly is not ready for any of this to be starting.

Boys can be such self-esteem breakers.

Because the hormones are raging and causing girls to be insecure at times.

Especially with the whole puberty thing.

I just hope she has good enough friends that are good enough friends, you know?

I did.

And still do.

Not that I have to worry about boys anymore.

I got mine.

And he's definitely a keeper!

Okay.

Enough rambling.

Doughnuts With Dad

Today was "Doughnuts With Dad" and the youngest's preschool.

Since Daddy is out to sea right now, we brought a picture of him, so she could at least have a picture of him with her while we had doughnuts and fruit and orange juice.

Oh, and the bandaid? She just has a scratch on her cheek and the girl is so obsessed with people NOT seeing any booboos, she has to wear a bandaid over it to cover it. Never mind that it just makes it THAT much more noticeable.

When The Youngest Is Bored....

Poor straw.

Probably never saw it coming.

The One To Watch Out For

You know you're in trouble with a child when they say to their sister, "C'mon, let's close the door so mom can't hear us"

And this is the youngest saying this.

We're definitely going to have to keep a very watchful eye out for this one!

Anyone want a truck that doesn't work?

Because that's what I have in my driveway.

Shortly before hubby went out to sea, he was starting up his truck and it made a very LOUD noise when the engine was running. So he's thinking it "threw a rod".

Whatever that means. All I know is that it has something to do with the engine. Which is not a good thing.

So he's out to sea now and so I have it towed to the repair shop (because you are NOT to drive a car when it has "thrown a rod". See, you learn something new every day) and this morning they give me an estimate.

Over FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!

Okay, the truck isn't even worth that much when it was running!

Yea, no, don't think so. Sorry, not going to happen.

So I have them tow it back to my house to put it in my driveway.

Well, the tow truck has to position the truck in a perpendicular way to the street so as to put the truck back in the drivway. So of course this blocks traffic.

And it just happens to be during the time of day when people are coming home from work. Most people are fine with it, some able to squeeze around. One guy who does manage to squeeze around starts yelling at me and the tow truck driver that we're blocking traffic.

Really.

Like we didn't know that.

He starts spouting off as to why don't we just park it on the street.

Yea bud, like I'm going to park a truck that DOESN'T WORK on the street for four months when I have a driveway to put it in.

So I start yelling at him, almost to the point of screaming because I am so pissed off at him that the truck doesn't run and then he takes off and I flip him off.

It's a good thing he did take off because I would have continued to yell at him and curse him out and give him holy hell. And come back with some GOOD comebacks. Of course I think of all of this AFTER he drives off.

I guess I freaked out my eldest because I was yelling at him. I told her it was okay, I was just yelling at him, I certainly wasn't afraid of him.

Then it got me mad that there are people like this in the world, who don't care about waiting for other people, or even think what people's situations are. All they think about is them, and how they are inconvenienced.

So now when hubby gets back home, he will be getting a new truck about a year earlier than we had planned, but again, that seems to be our life this year.

You Want Fries With That?

This evening we were on our way to get something to eat for dinner. Now, the youngest calls every kid's meal a Happy Meal. Doesn't matter if we're at Burger King, Wendy's, Carl's Jr., Jack In the Box, etc. (not that we even go to these places very often, in fact, before today, the last time we went to one of these places was well over a few months ago).

So we're on our way and I tell her, "Do you want a Happy Meal?" (I just call them that anyway so as to not confuse here and then go into a big long explanation that will take me forever)

And she says, "YES! I WANT A HAPPY MEA-! Wait, does it come with a toy?"

A girl's gotta have her priorities...........

Oh, and don't even get me started on ordering through the drive through. I couldn't figure out if she was saying "Banana" or "Vanilla", because I think she said both! I finally had to S-P-E-L-L it out and then when we got to the window it still wasn't right.

Memorial Day 2007

Okay, it's not even 9:00 a.m. and already I have things to write about!

This morning I was laying in bed with my girls (they get to sleep in my bed on the weekends when daddy's gone) awake and playing with the cat when the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it said "unknown number" and had some freaky phone number that I did not even recognize. For a second there, I thought about not answering it, but then I figured I probably should. And also, in the back of my mind, I remembered that hubby was pulling into a port on the other side of the world.

Yes, it was hubby! He was so happy to be on land! They had spent almost two months out to sea with no port visit. They even got a "beer day" for being out so long (they get two beers each, so it's not like it was a drunk fest out there, hell it probably wasn't even a "buss fest" out there for most of them).

We talked for a little while and then I handed the phone over to the eldest and she got to talk with her Daddy for a while. I always love watching them talk with their Daddy. Sometimes I can hear his voice too on the phone while they're talking. Then the youngest got to talk to Daddy and her telephone skills are much more concise than the eldest. I've got to figure out questions to have Daddy ask her next time where she will answer them and not have to think too much. That's when it gets her, when you ask her questions that she actually has to think to answer. She becomes silent................... If it was night, you could probably hear the crickets it would be so silent on her end.

So we got our morning call from him and I showed the girls where Daddy was. He's in a place called Dubai, that's in the United Arab Emerites. The eldest says, "Dubai? Is that where you got "do buy" things?" ............smart ass................................

Then some sad news. The eldest came out to the family room to see the hamster and the hamster wasn't moving. That always sucks. Being the one that finds the deceased pet. My youngest sister found my grandma's dog, Lady, when Lady passed away. I was so heartbroken then. So it was up to me to get rid of the hamster. Now, if you know me, I'm NOT one to have to deal with dead animals. I had to get rid of a dead fish (it was one of those sucker fishes and man when they are dead they are hard as a rock) and I had to scoop it up to flush it down and so I used the fish net, put it in a cup and it went THUD. :::::::::::::::shudder::::::::::::::::: Blech!!

So now we are one less pet in our house (okay, why is hubby always away when an pet in our house dies? He was away when I had to get rid of that fish, and now the hamster), and we are not replacing it. Dr. Doolittle has one less pet to worry about. Oh, don't get me wrong, I LOVE our dog and cat, and even enjoy the fish. The hamster was one thing thought that didn't rock my world. But I never hated it. Rest in Peace Jackie The Hamster.

Today the eldest has an indoor soccer game and then we are off to our friend's house for a dip in the pool and bbq.

United Through Reading

Have you ever heard of this program?

I had, a while back, something that I tucked away back in my brain.

United Through Reading, is a program that brings together moms and dads to their children when they are apart. The mom or dad reads children's books to a video camera, thus to their children, and the DVD is sent back home, so that the children can "see" their parent, even if they are far away.

This program has been on hubby's ship. We just got the 2nd DVD from him this past week. My youngest has been SO entranced by them. She likes seeing Daddy on TV reading and talking to her. The first one he sent, he was growing a moustache (hey, sometimes they get creative in their "trying to entertain" themselves when they are on a ship). The 2nd one, he had shaven it (thank goodness! He got bored with it and it was bothering him anyway) and my youngest said,

"Daddy doesn't have that hair on his face anymore!"

Too cute.

He read 4 books to her, two of which were Dr. Seuss. When my oldest was a wee one, I got just about every Dr. Seuss book they had (I'm sure there are a few I don't have). Well, I still have them and I pulled out the two that Daddy was reading to her and she was so happy that we have a couple of the books that Daddy was reading to her.

What a wonderful program, I tell you! For my girls to be able to see their Daddy on TV talking to them, while he is away.

Oh, I love that we have e-mail now, as when he first went out, almost 15 years ago, e-mail wasn't around then. Sometimes it would be 3 weeks before I got a letter from him because of the mail. Now I get an e-mail every day or every other day.

And when he's in port, he can call us too.

But having that video is just another good thing that is out there for my girls.

Love Thursday - Being A Navy Wife

picture taken by the Navy

This picture was taken yesterday, as our United States Navy entered the Persian Gulf.

I love this picture.

My hubby is on one of those ships.

One of the bigger ones, one of the aircraft carriers.

Seeing pictures like this make me DAMN proud to be a Navy Wife.

When hubby and I got married, he was already in the Navy, but I did know him before he joined the Navy (that story will be for another time).

We will have our 15th wedding anniversary this year.

However, hubby will not be home for it, he will be on one of those ships.

Of course it makes me sad that he's not here.

But I swell up with pride when I see pictures like this, because I know he's out there, doing his job to help protect our county. Even if it is halfway around the world.

Do I get scared? Of course, all the time.

He was over there 4 years ago when the Iraq War started.

And I'm hoping that this deployment will be part of it ending as well.

When it started 4 years ago and I knew that he was over there, I cried when the war first started. I was scared. I mean, come on, a war was starting and my hubby was over there.

Now granted he was on an aircraft carrier, which makes him a lot safer than being on the ground.

But I was still scared.

After 9/11 happened and I saw the show of support that our United States had for it's country and it's service members, I got all choked up with emotion. When I saw that every house on a street had their American Flag flying, it made me so glad to see that our people came together and supported our troops and rallied for our country. All the stories of people clapping their hands when service members came around, or offered their seat on a plane for them, etc. made my heart fill with pride.

Today, the Iraq war certainly isn't favorable among the majority of the Americans.

But they still support the troops and that makes me so happy. So happy that America has learned from Vietnam, that even though they may not support the war or the reason why we're over there, they still support the troops and are thankful to them for going over there and risking their lives.

I am a Navy wife.

Do I like war? Ummm....no........of course not.

Do I wish that there would be alternate ways to handle things? Oh yes, definitely.

But there are people out there in the world who refuse to compromise. People who want to kill people just because of their skin color. Or their religion.

Is this the only reason a war starts? Of course not.

While I certainly don't like being separated from my husband, I love him tremendously and I love him for serving our country. And so I deal with the hardship of being separated from him.

A Glutton For Punishment?

Today I took the girls to the softball fields so that my eldest and I could watch the All-Star games. She has friends on the teams and wanted to root for them. I enjoy watching the games too, and plus I get to chat with some of the parents that I have gotten to know as well.

And the youngest likes to play there, in the dirt, mostly....

Oh, and I've decided to be on the softball board for next season as the Uniforms Coordinator. Am I crazy? Like I don't have enough on my plate as it is. I wanted to do it, then found out that I really couldn't because of the "once a month" meetings they have and hubby will be in and out to sea for the next year and because they are in the evenings, I don't want to have to have to take my girls somewhere to be watched, I'd rather they be at home. But then I find out that you only have to be at the meetings for "voting rights". Oh hell, it'll be my first year there, I don't care that much about voting rights, I just want to help out the league. So I'm putting my name in the hat again to be the Uniform Coordinator. I'll really only be busy before the season even starts, getting the uniforms ordered and distributed. That's just one big lump thing to do all at once and I can handle that. Hell, I put a yearbook together in a couple of months and that was labor intesive on the computer.

Maybe it's just the "Uber Mom" in me wanting to come out again........

Conversations with my pre-teen

Ahhh.....the preteen years and the early teen years.

Hell, the late teen years and early twenties as well!

Okay, back to the preteen years.

Such the start of an emotional time for all preteen girls. The hormones are starting to flow, the bodies are changing, and the desire to "fit in", and have the cool clothes.

Being so sure of yourself one minute and so UNsure of yourself the next.

I frequently have conversations with my preteen about life and living it. Tonight was about being a good person (actually quite a few are like that). Treating others the way YOU want to be treated. Not judging someone by what you think they are like. And if someone you know is acting a different way, to ask them about it. You'll never know the answer if you don't ask. You'll never find out if there's a problem if you don't ask. It's about caring about the other person.

My preteen can have the biggest heart there is. Last year she spearheaded a Katrina Relief Fund at her school and the school ended up raising almost $1000 for it. All because she wanted to bring in a jar to her classroom to raise a few dollars for it.

But sometimes she can be the biggest snot and brat too.

Like I said....hormones.

I also think society can play a part in it too. That's why I frequently have convesations with her about it. And give her examples and show why certain things are wrong, or why certain things are right.

When I meet someone, I rarely, rarely ever had a preconceived notion about that person. I don't want to say I've NEVER had a preconceived notion about a person, because I'm sure I have at one point in time. I'm sure someone has told me something about a person I may find unflattering and that may have allowed me to think negatively about that person.

But I try to be a good example to my girls. To show them that you can't think a person is weird or different just because of how they look. Or dress.

I do have to say that I love the friends I grew up. And the atmosphere we had. It didn't matter the hair color, even if it was purple. Or a mohawk. Or ripped clothing. Or with spikes on it. We were open to knowing all people. And still are.

I could easily, EASILY, have the worst potty mouth in the town. I could cuss them up and down and sideways. But I don't, because I want to show my girls how to have good manners. Does that mean I don't cuss? Oh hell no. And I know they've heard me say things at times. Do I want them to think I'm perfect? Oh no. I know they need to know that I make mistakes too and I have to learn from them. And I will apologize to my children if I've gotten mad at them just because I'm PMSing. And I thank them when they do something I ask.

All I want is to raise them to be good, polite people with good manners, with the wisdom to know and learn from their mistakes.

I sure hope my preteen listened to what I said and took it to heart.

You never know with those preteens........ I know. I was one of them once......

Waiting For That Last Link On The Chain

And then he'll be home.

I miss my hubby.

I want him home.

We're not even 1/2 way through his deployment yet.

Sometimes the kids drive me bonkers.

Especially the youngest today.

She's in one of her non-stop talking moods.

At least I get a break on Saturday when I'm going scrapbooking with my friends.

Another friend is going to watch my girls.

I hate the way my body feels on the first day of my period.

Like today.

It makes me cranky.

And sometimes towards my girls.

I don't like that.

My cat likes to chew on cardboard.

Very weird.

My dog still likes to try and hump the cat.

Very, VERY weird.

I enjoy the fact that my eldest and I like watching certain shows together.

Like General Hospital.

And Dancing With The Stars.

And America's Next Top Model.

My youngest makes some of the cutest facial expressions.

It makes me smile and laugh.

It sucks that hubby is going to miss all of our (and his) birthdays and our 15th wedding anniversary this year.

But we deal with it.

That's Navy life.

It seems like a lifetime ago when we went through this for the first time 14 1/2 years ago.

This is our 6th time doing this.

And it's probably not going to be our last.

I'm rambling, aren't I?

Oh well, I'm in one of those moods.

If you don't like it, bite me.

That's one of my favorite sayings.

Bite Me.

I want to put it up on one of the walls in my scrapbook area.

I already have a "NO WHINING" sign hanging in there.

Time to get the youngest one in bed.

Ta.

This, That & The Other

Damn, I can't believe this month is almost 1/2 over already!! Hubby has been gone for almost a month and a half now.

April was not a fun month for me. I was sick with the stomach flu for over 2 1/2 weeks! Blech! And it's not like I could just lay in bed all day long and have someone take care of me. Being the sole parent sucks big time when you're sick. I still don't know how my mom did it, and she had 3 kids all by herself, all the time.

Which brings me to my youngest sister. She's 10 years younger than me and we are a lot alike in a lot of ways. Sometimes when I see her go through things in life, I'm like, "Wow, that was me back then". We have always been very close too.

She just recently lost her father, due to a brain tumor, that somehow got "activated" when he had to have surgery on a broken leg. He was 80 years old. Before that he had rarely been sick a day in his life. I feel for her. But before he passed away, she was able to let go of all of the negativity she had for him. I never got to do that with my father before he passed away. It warms my heart that she got to do that with her father.

Yes, you read that right. We have different fathers. In fact, our other sister who is inbetween our ages, has a different father too. Now some of you may be thinking, "Wow, their mom must have been a hoochie-mama, with all of them having different dads." You couldn't be further from the truth. She just had HORRIBLE luck with me. Part of me wonders if this was because she lost her own dad when she was 13. My grandma did marry again when she was 16, so she had my grandpa for that, but I know it wasn't the same for her. My father ended up still being married to his first wife when he was married to my mom. (Yea, I know, nice, huh??!!!)

Then came along my younger sister's dad and he and my mom were supposed to get married, but then he decided to take off on her before it happend and before my sister was born.

And finally, came along my youngest sister's dad. When my mom got pregnant with her, she was already set enough in how she lived that she did not really want to get married to her dad.

Pretty much after that, she just quit dating alltogether. I mean, come on, how could she, raising 3 girls all on her own?! And she never asked for child support either. She told me once that she didn't want to have to rely on it for one thing, and she also didn't want to have to be obligated where we had to spend weekends, vacation or whatever with them.

I'm sure you are thinking, hello??!, there is a thing called birth-control. And no she wasn't catholic either. Maybe she was naive. In a lot of ways I think she was. She was a trusting person for the most part as well.

So even though we all had different dads, we were all together all the time. My dad rarely came around, my younger sister's dad NEVER came around, and my youngest sister's dad probably came around more than anyone else's.

But having your dad come around here and there, never at any specific time, doesn't make for a good relationship there. And both me and my youngest sister definitely had issues with that. Our grandpa was always around for us, so we did have a male figure in our lives, but he was grandpa, you know?

Anyway, back to my youngest sister. The service for her dad was this past Wednesday. She went and got to spend time with her two older sisters and older brother. I am SO happy for her. I LOVE the fact that she is getting to know another part of her family. Over the years, I have gotten to get to know my two older sisters (I actually have 3, but I've never met the other one) and my older brother before he passed away in 1992. And even though they are my family too, it's still so different from the relationship I have with my 2 sisters that I grew up with.

*********************

My eldest daughter's softball team won first place in their division a couple of weeks ago. It was SO exciting! I was so happy for her team, and not just for my daughter. I was actually more happy for the coach, his daughter and the pitcher for the team. They had all been in the playoffs for 5 years in a row, and each time they had always taken 2nd place. Until this year. So it was a very heartwarming win for them.

**************************************

Mother's Day is this Sunday, and all I've asked for from my girls is to let me sleep in, and let me scrapbook that day. I don't want them buying me anything. To make me something is the best thing, because they made it for me.

It's also definitely a time where I do miss my mom a lot too, but a few years before she passed away, she let me know that it was okay for me to stay at home and enjoy my mother's day. After all, I'm a mom too. That was such a wonderful gift to give to me too. I got to start making my own mother's day memories with my girls (hubby and the eldest got on their hands and knees one year and cleaned the floors for me, because I was pregnant with the youngest at the time). So even though I miss not having my mom for mother's day, it's not as bad as if it was a day where I was with her every year.

And I do have my mother-in-law too though. She has been wonderful and has been there for me when I do need her.

Only Mothers Can See

Lately my youngest has been obsessed with eating Shrek Gogurt. For those of you who don't know, it's yogurt in a tube and you just squeeze it out to eat it.

Since it's Shrek and all and with the Fairy Tale theme going and all, I've told her that when she eats it and blows air out of her mouth that magic sprinkles come out with the air. But no one else can see them except for me. Mommy. Not even sister can see them. Only Mommy.

She LOVES this, and totally believes it.

Make believe. It can be such a sweet thing. :)

Out of the Mouth of Babes

So I'm sitting on the couch and my ear is itching so I'm rubbing it and my youngest says:

"Mommy, do you have fleas?"

Then, later in the bathtub she asks me,

"Mommy, do boys have to squeeze it to make the peepee come out?"

Only from her............

Love Thursday - Birthday Card

My youngest made this for me on Wednesday when we were at my work in the afternoon. I will cherish this always.

A Glimpse Into the Future?

Sometimes when you look at her, you can get a glimpse of what she's going to look like when she grows up.




That is if she doesn't dye her hair, get multiple pearcings and tattoos.

Back From Camp

What a week she had

"Did you have fun?"

"Oh yes, we did this, and this, and that, yada, yada, yada. But I missed you SOOO much!"

"So do you want to go back?"

"NO!"

I'm glad that she had a good time, but I feel bad that she missed us so much and even cried a few times.

Not that I want her out of the house, mind you.

But I do want her to be confident on being away from us as she gets older.

And I think she will.

I might start giving her some more independence soon to help with that.

But I'm awfully glad she's back.

I missed her very much too!!

"I Miss You So Damn Much"

You think that this is what I would be saying to my hubby because he's away.

Well, I do, but I didn't write this.

This is what my eldest wrote to me in her letter from camp.

This is her first time away from me for more than a night without either me or hubby around.

It's a strange place, she's never been there before, but at least she has her friends there.

She did say she is having fun though, but I can understand her missing me. Because I do miss her. Very damn much. And I miss hubby too, SO damn much.

And now you may be thinking, my 11 year old is writing this to me. 11? And saying "damn" to me and me allowing it?

Yes.

But only in certain contexts.

Like I miss you so damn much.

Or Damn!

When she reaches certain ages, I allow her to say certain words.

But they come with stipulations.

Like she's not supposed to say it around her sister.

Or her grandparents or other adults.

And she's not to use it to say it meanly towards me.

Like, "Damn You".

Or anyone else.

I mean, come on.

I'm not stupid.

I certainly was saying a HELL of a lot worse at her age.

I remember one time coming home from school, me and my friend, we had promised to stop cursing. We wanted to work on talking better.

But then this boy really pissed both of us off.

And we looked at each other and said, "Okay, this ONE time".

And then we both turned and said the exact same thing at the exact same time to this boy, without knowing what the other was going to say.

Let's just say there were two words, and one started with an "F" and the other started with an "A".

Hey, I can have a mouth on me just as bad as a sailor if I really wanted to.

But because I have children, I work really hard at not cursing.

At least not in front of them.

But sometimes it does slip out.

Damn it.

Love Thursday - Just Watching

I SO much enjoy just watching my youngest. She is so full of life! She loves to just chatter away when she's playing by herself, she's so enthusiastic when she talks about things she likes, and even things she doesn't like.

Even though I miss my eldest, I am enjoying my one-on-one time with my youngest.

Kumbya, My Lord....

My baby left for 6th grade camp today.

Even though she's my oldest, she's still my baby.

She was so nervous yesterday and this morning. I'm surprised she even slept at all.

Lord knows I didn't get much sleep! I feel asleep fine, but then when I got that "middle of the night pee call" I couldn't fall back asleep right away. And then finally when I did, the cat started playing with something on the hardwood floors and then the dog decided HE had to go pee too!

She did get up once in the middle of the night, but was able to go back to sleep fairly quickly.

She was fine when we were packing things up, packing the dufflebag, rolling up the sleeping bag, labeling everything, etc. She was even fine when I timed her to see if she could take a shower in 2 minutes (1 minute, 45 seconds, you go girl!) It wasn't until we were sitting there, watching TV that I think it hit her and she got very nervous and a bit teary eyed.

I certainly couldn't let on that I was nervous too! After all, the longest she had been away from me was 2 nights and that's when I went away for the weekend! And I was missing my family after the first night way too!

So I soothed her, hugged her, gave her kisses and told her that everything would be alright. I kept reassuring her. I told her that I knew for a FACT that she was NOT the only one who was feeling this way. I knew some of her friends were nervous as well. But that she would have her friends there and her teacher would be there too. (How cool is that, to be a 6th grade teacher and be able to go on this camp with your students for a whole week!) I think, or at least I hope, that it helped her some.

She was still nervous this morning, but she marched on.

We dropped off the youngest at preschool early and then headed on towards her school.

Of course finding a parking spot in the parking lot was impossible because every other parent who's 6th grade student was going too and they wanted to be there, just like me.

The bell rang and us parents stayed behind to watch all the luggage while the students went inside to class to gear up for the trip.

The bus came (there was literally a whole bus just for the luggage) and we loaded it up.

Then I saw her teacher and she guided us parents over to where the kids were lining up to get on the bus. We gave them hugs and kisses and waved them goodbye as they left.

Four nights without my baby.

I hope she has a BLAST though.

Dreams

Do you believe in dreams? I do. I believe dreams can be a powerful thing.

I have had quite a few dreams in my life that are so vivid that they have stuck with me.

I also believe that your loved ones that have passed o,n can use your dreams to be a pathway to communicate with you. I really do. That is why I believe that there is a heaven and that your soul doesn't die when your body does.

Case in point:

About 5 or 6 months after my grandma had died, I had this dream. In my dream I was at a family gathering and my grandpa was also there. When I looked up behind my grandpa, there was my grandma, standing behind him. I was so shocked to see her! I asked her why I could see her and what was she doing there. She told me that she was there to watch over grandpa and that only he and I could see her. Hubby literally had to wake me up from my sleep because I was crying so hard. Crying for sadness? No, joy because I was able to talk to her again, and I knew she was still there.

That was my first time I had ever had that happen to me. And I truly believe that she came to me in my dream to let me know it was okay. And to realize that she was actually watching over me as well.

It was nearing Christmas that year and I was telling hubby about this train set that used to get set up every Christmas, and how we loved it. He was very interested in it and we both were thinking about seeing if it was still around and if we could possibly have it. It was at my grandma's house (my mom was living there to take care of my grandpa) but no one could find it. My uncle said that I could have it (it was his, growing up after all) if it was still around.

That night I had a dream in which I found the train set in an armoire in the garage at my grandma's house. That next day I called my sister, who was also living there, and told her to go to that armoire in the garage and it would be there. Sure enough, it was there.

Psychic?

No, I think it was my grandma telling me where it was in my dreams.

I knew she was watching over me that night I had to drive up to see my mom, who had just had a massive stroke. I knew my grandma would make sure I got there okay to see my mom.

About six months or so after my mom passed away, I had a dream about her. I was at a family gathering (similar to the one I had when my grandma came to me) and I saw my mom there. My two sisters were there with me too. All 3 of us were able to see my mom and talk with her. And then, almost just as soon as it began, she wanted to give us a group hug because she had to go. She had to go so that she could come back to us again. One second she was giving us a group hug and then the next second, it was just the three of us hugging.

And my last example?

Just happened Thursday night/Friday morning.

I was having a dream that I was on MySpace, on my cousin's site, reading about the birth of her two babies. There was a picture of one of the babies. I kept reading on that she had had some complications with the delivery, but she was okay. I only saw one of the babies. My dream was so vivid, and I was going to keep on reading to find out what happened, but I got awoken by my cell phone going off.

I had a text message from my aunt.

She text messaged everyone to let them know that my cousin had had her babies. My cousin had to be in ICU for a little while, due to excessive bleeding, but she was okay now. And the big surprise? She didn't have two girls like the ultrasound had "supposedly" showed, (but my cousin never wanted to know the sex of the babies, but hubby knew and that's how we all knew), but she had a girl and a BOY (thus the reason I only saw a picture of one baby in my dream. I think I was supposed to see the pictue of the boy in my dream had I not been woken up by my aunt's text message about it).

So the fact that I had a dream very, very similar to what had actually happened, coincidence?

Possibly.

But I believe in the power of dreams.

Dialogue from the Youngest At The Dinner Table

"I'm eating worms" (spaghetti)

"It's red worm blood"

"It's squishy"

"I was eating the worm blood"

"The flavor is spinach"

"I have a worm moustache"

"Know what it smells like? Spinach"

"And inside the worm blood is another worm inside"

Boy, I sure can't wait to see what this kid is going to be like when she starts drinking! She will probably be the girl who swallows the worm in the tequila bottle........

Decompressing

All day today I've felt like I am just going to burst or blow up or yell or scream.

Do you ever have one of those days?

Where nothing "specific" actually happened to foul your mood, but you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess?

It started off waking my girls up. My eldest is usually a bear to wake up, but when I told her she had an email from Daddy, she hopped out of bed in an instant. I mean that's great and all, that she's excited to get an email from Daddy, but it also made me feel like the gum on the bottom of the shoe.

Then my youngest is starting to follow suit with her and waking up in crabby moods as well. She used to wake up all nice and cheery and loving. Not so much anymore.

Plus work is work. No fun.

Don't mind me, I'm just whining today.

Easter Eggs....

Dying eggs for easter.

What a time honored tradition.

This year it was no different in the fact that we dyed eggs, what was different was the place.

We were at home. I can't even remember the last time we stayed home for Easter. For the past few years we have been up in Henderson, NV at my aunt's house for Easter. It was always fun for the kids too. Plus they were with their cousins and we had a lot of family around. Dying eggs, finding their baskets Easter morning, going out in the backyard to find the plastic eggs hidden about.

Before that we would be at my mom's house for Easter. Same scenario, different location.

So this year was much more cozy.

It was just me and my girls.

Oh, and the Easter Bunny had to wrap all of the Easter baskets in cellophane to prevent the cat from getting into the baskets at night while they were hidden around the house. That was a new thing to do, since I've never done that before.

It was a nice quiet day here around the house and I liked it too, except for the fact that hubby wasn't here for it. We sure miss him.

Here's how our eggs turned out. Quite cute I think....

Where Did It Go?

My creative mojo.

It seems lately all my creative mojo has gone out the window.

Perhaps it is because I have been so busy lately.

My scrapbook area looks so lonely and wishing for me to come over there and create.

I'm hoping to get over there and do some work tomorrow, as it's on my list of things I need to get done (I'm doing a swap with some friends and it's due tomorrow, so I guess I should get a move on, huh?)

I just feel like I'm in a rut with the creative process.

It probably has something to do with the fact that I do need to get stuff done around here, so the "clutter energy" can go away, leaving me free to create.

I hope I can find it tomorrow under the clutter!

It's only Day Two!

Of Hubby being gone and already I'm having to yell at the children!

Okay, I know it's stressful for them.

The eldest is showing it already. Plus I think she's tired.

The youngest still doesn't really know what's going on, or that Daddy will be gone for a while. Today she wanted to get Daddy's phone number to call him and tell him she loves him. :*) (Too cute though!!) It's hard to explain to her that Daddy's phone doesn't work where he is and we don't have a number where we can call him, so we'll just have to email or write letters or draw pictures for him until he can call.

Whenever that is.

So I get my "stern mom voice" out and tell them to both come over here where I'm sitting.

I make them apologize to each other.

Then give each other hugs.

Then kisses.

Then wiggles. (that gets them to start giggling)

Then tickles.

Okay, they're fine now.

New Shoes

Back in style.

Finally, a pair of slip on Vans my daughter likes that don't make her feet look like boats.

Aren't they cute?!!!

I still find it amazing that slip on Vans are back in style.

That and bermuda shorts.

Yea, she got two pair of those today too.

Spring Break Shopping!

:::::just shaking my head::::::::::::

Okay.

My youngest wanted me to turn off My Little Pony because of the witch that's on there that's trying to steal all the Little Ponies is scaring her.

So instead she watches Harry Potter and is perfectly fine with that.

Go figure

Duh!!!

Yesterday I was having some not to nice pains in my back on my left side. So here I am, thinking, "Oh no, I hope I don't have a kidney infection!" So I'm downing CranGrape juice all day long.

So last night, I'm getting ready for bed and I'm thinking I should look at my back where it hurts just to see if I see anything (yea, like I'm really going to see anything if I have a kidney infection).

So I look.

So I see a bruise.

And so that little light bulb on top of my head turns on.

Oh yea! The day before I was backing up and I hit my back on a corner piece of furniture.

Ahhhhh, that must be why it's hurting.

Well, at least my kidneys are nice and cleaned out now.

I Never Thought I'd See This!

My big German Shepard trying to hump my little cat while licking the back of her neck.

Bizarre.

Of course the rest of the night he's off chasing her and she's finally like, um, get the hell away from me dog. I don't think I like what you're trying to do!

Did I Say That?

Something I never thought I'd hear myself say,

"Cat! Get your head out of the toilet!"

I Think I Need An Exorcism Performed

On my house.

There is a dark cloud over my house right now and I don't know how the hell it got here or how the hell to get rid of it!

Since this year started, I have had to have the refrigerator serviced, because it quit working, had to get a new water heater, along with a gas leak scare (no damage, fixed fine though, although my nervers were shot), had to replace the washer and dryer, and then yesterday was the kicker. Hubby replaced the kitchen sink faucet because it was corroded and making funny noises, and then our TV went out (that was only THREE YEARS OLD, for crying out loud!) and now hubby's truck is making a LOUD noise when the engine is started. So yesterday I bought a new faucet, a new TV and had to rent a car.

Yea.

No fun.

And THEN, today we had blustery winds, so the accordian door that was on the closet that hubby made to protect our new washer and dryer that's outside blew off and we had to replace THAT!.

My house and my nerves have had enough.

Maybe I've got some bad mojo in my house somewhere, or it's not Fung Shui. I don't know. Whatever it is, it needs to be fixed ASAP people!

Catch Up

Yikes! It feels like forever since I've written anything!

It's been fairly busy for me lately though.

Hubby is home, and has been home for a few weeks, but shortly, he will be leaving out to sea for quite a while.

I'm not looking forward to it. I never DO look forward to it. I want him home with me. But I know that he has to do this, as it's his job. But it still never gets any easier. You'd think that since I've done this FIVE times before, that it wouldn't be as hard. But it is. Especially with our girls too. This will be the first time that the youngest will really know what's going on. The last time we did this, she was only 3 months old.

She can be SO painfully shy too. On Friday she fell at preschool and scraped her chin. She absolutely HAS to have a bandaid on it, because she doesn't want people looking at her chin. SHE doesn't even want to look at her chin with the scrape on it. But once the bandaid is on, she's fine. It's probably going to take her some time to get used to Daddy being back when he comes back. We are going to have to make sure and send him lots of letters, emails, pictures, etc, and make it so she can communicate with him to make the transition a little easier.

The eldest? Well, she doesn't like it either and she has her moments too with it. She'll have her emotional outbursts as well, and with her being a preteen and hormones rushing around her? Yea, that' s not something I'm looking forward to.

She had a rough week herself! I had to pick her up from school on Wednesday, as she had gotten sick at school. On Friday, she had two baby teeth pulled and then threw up again that night at 1 a.m., and that was not a pretty sight. I HATE throw up. But then again, I don't know anyone who really LIKES it, do you?

Is there anything HAPPY that happened to me this past week you ask?

Yes, we went to DISNEYLAND on Tuesday!! Woohoo!!! Of course it did rain on us for about an hour there and I can't stand rain, but it was near the end of the day, so it wasn't that bad. Hubby and I joked that we were traumatizing the youngest, as we took her on Pirates of the Carribean first and the Haunted Mansion second. Then a while later we took her on the Matterhorn. Now, before anyone says anything we took her on these rides a year ago and she was fine. She LOVED the Matterhorn back then. Now? Not so much. She literally screamed when we were on the ride and not because she was having fun. (My poor baby!) Pirates? She didn't care for that as much, but she LOVED the Haunted Mansion. Go figure.

Her favorite? It's A Small World, Dumbo and the Carousel, of course.

We rocked out on Space Mountain with The Red Hot Chili Peppers, which was WAY cool! Hubby and I took turns with the eldest on that one since there was no way we were going to take the youngest on that one. That one goes just a little too fast to put the youngest on that one.

Maybe next time.

Squeaky Clean

I now have a squeaky clean remote control for our TV in our bedroom.

Apparently it got caught up in the sheets when I took them off to wash them.

Okay, this is like the THIRD time I've done this! (Not in a row, but the third time in about 8 years or so) You'd think I'd learn, wouldn't you.....

Since the last time I've been pretty anal about making sure the remote is OFF the bed before I pull the sheets off, but I was in SUCH a hurry earlier this week that, apparent, OBVIOUSLY, I forgot to check.

Does it work????

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo!!!! It took a night to completely dry out, but then I have an HE washing machine which uses less water, so maybe that helped? Who knows. All I know is that I don't have to go out and buy ANOTHER universal remote..

Of course this means the next time I throw one int he washing machine that it won't work.

So maybe it is a good idea if I go out and buy one..........................

............just in case.

Love Thursday - Bedtime

Love is cuddling with your youngest at bedtime, giving her butterfly kisses and making her giggle.

What's That Noise...............

You know those people in the stores who are just browsing along whistling? The ones that just bug the hell out of you and you just want to go up to them and yell, "STOP WHISTLING DAMN IT!!!!" but just can't bring yourself to do it, because hey, they are obviously happy and who the hell are you to stop their happiness?

Yea, I think my youngest is going to be one of those people.

For the past week or two, she's ALWAYS whistling!

Of course I know it's just because she just figured out how to whistle and now that she knows how to do it, she likes practicing.

I wonder if those "whistling people" in the stores just find comfort in whistling.......

Right now, at this point in time, I would never tell the youngest to stop whistling. I sit and watch her quietly and smile. She figured out how to do something and she's proud of it.

As she should be.

Life In The Fast Lane (the mom fast lane anyway...)

Life has been so hectic for me the past couple of weeks and there IS an end in sight, but it's WAY down the road.....

I'm creating the yearbook for my eldest's school and it's due at the end of the month. I AM over 1/2 way done, and I see no problem being able to finish it this weekend, as the rest of the pages are activity pages and the pictures just need to be plugged into the page.

The eldest also had a softball game last night and I must say, us parents thoroughly enjoyed ourselves last night. We had the best ump. He was friendly, made jokes with the girls, it was fun. The eldest did get a hit, which is very good (although it was a pop up and she got out) AND she got to play second base in the last inning. Very nice......I also VERY much like her coach. Our team was so far ahead and some of the girls could have easily stolen home base, but he had them hang back. No need to throw it in the other team's face, you know?

The youngest was having a ball with sunflower seeds. Just about everyone at the softball games has "seeds". She wanted them too. Hubby and I have tried to teach her how to open them with her teeth and eat the inside, and a few times she did do it, but for the most part, she just likes putting them in her mouth and spitting them out, like she sees everyone else do. One time she had about 7 or 8 sunflower seeds in her mouth at once and spit them all out at once. It was funny. Ahhhh, the things that amuse us these days.....

On a more somber note, my great uncle passed away this past Saturday. He turned 90 a week ago today. His health was failing him, but his mind never did, even up until the end. But I will write a special post about him later on, as he is one who deserves it, for he was a great man.

I should certainly get off the computer now, as it is time for me to take the youngest to preschool and get my butt off to work.

Can You Hear That????

Silence.

There are no human sounds in my house right now.

It's even quiet on the animal front too.

And it's DAYTIME!

My wonderful hubby came home today from being out to sea for over a week, and took the girls to the park to go bike riding.

He knew I was getting stressed out. He could tell when he called me today and I was at the Commissary From Hell. SO many people at the military base grocery store today! AND I had both kids.

AND I've been running on hyper-speed since Wednesday.

Yea, it hasn't stopped.

Until now.

And even now I'm not fully stopped, I'm uploading pictures to the yearbook website while I'm doing this.

Multi-tasking.

That's my life.

So the 3 of them are at the park, riding bikes, and when they get back, I still get to be by myself, because I get to go out and do errands ALONE! YEA!!!

Well, I DO have to get some stuff for the girls' easter baskets while I'm out, but I HAVE to do that by myself, for obvious reasons.

I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO needed this though!!

I was telling hubby that if I didn't get to "de-stress" soon, I was going to have a burnout MAJORLY and that wouldn't be good.

We are going to Disneyland in a couple of weeks, so I have to find a hotel for that, get the dog a reservation at a kennel, and I want to finish this yearbook by then. I want to go away for a day with my family, knowing that I don't have a deadline. I want to get this yearbook done, so that the principal can proof it over and I can have time to do any changes I need to, without being completely rushed. I want our family to have some GOOD family time together, and what better place to do that than Disneyland!!

Wow......I can actually hear the birds chirping outside. Beautiful, baby, beau-ti-ful.

Olive Riley's Blob

No, that's not a typo.

She refers to her blog as a "blob". I have a feeling it's going to be the new "lingo" for blog soon.

She is 107 years old and lives in Australia. Her friend, Mike types the "blob" for her as she talks.

She has had WELL over 190,000 visits since she started this blob LAST MONTH. Her blob is called The Life of Riley.


I HIGHLY encourage everyone to read her blob and enjoy her stories about what is going on in her life now and what she tells about the past.

I have ALWAYS loved to listen to older family members talk about the past and I love this blob.

I learned of her blob from Sognatrice and her blog, Bleeding Espresso. Sognatrice lives in Italy.
Another HIGHLY recommended blog to read!

Enjoy!

Whatever....

Okay, my hectic Tuesday decided to not rear it's ugly head on Tuesday. Instead it decided to delay it's appearance until today, Wednesday.

Well, partly it's my fault too.

I'm not saying I'm to blame, but I decided to add another ingredient to the mix.

I needed to take pictures at eldest's school of the dance troupe for the yearbook.

Since I would be at the school later, and I couldn't leave Burbank alone at home for over 8 hours (I just don't like doing that. I mean sure, I'm sure the dog could hold his pee for 9 hours if he really had to, but I don't want to do that to him), I came home after picking up the youngest at preschool to let him out to pee and offer him some "token" people time with us.

Then I went back to work with the youngest, bribed her with a slurpee so I could be in a meeting (which incidentally she ended up sitting in it with me), and rushed out of there at 3:30 so I could get to the eldest's school to take pictures.

Once I was done with that, it was off to Wal-Mart for some ::::ahem::::: personal "women" things I needed (yea, and as soon as we went by that aisle, my eldest and her friend decided they need to go look at the fish instead).

Oh, and then since I was getting dog treats for the dog (I SO spoil him with dog treats! I just love buying them! Hubby once saw us giving him his daily treats and he was like, "Damn, how many treats do you GIVE him??" Yea, it's a lot. But to be fair, he IS a big German Shepard) we were right by the toy aisles and of course, if you're by a toy aisle and you have kids, it's like a magnet where they HAVE to go over there.

Now my youngest is totally into Strawberry Shortcake (okay, I admit it, I like smelling the dolls, especially Tea Blossom, she smells like Grape) and we saw one of the dolls she wanted. But I just can't give in and give them every toy they want, so I said, "Maybe the Easter Bunny will bring it to you in your basket". In the meantime, I'm thinking, "Damn, they only have ONE of those dolls, I sure hope it's there when I need to come back and get it to put it in her Easter Basket for the Easter Bunny!" Maybe I can have my friend pick it up for me tomorrow and I'll pay her back.

So after some kicking and screaming our way out of the toy aisle (at this point I don't even CARE if people are looking at us while she's having her fit, it's just too damn exhausting to worry about that), we headed on towards the exit.

The checkout.......

Whoever invented putting all those little gadgets or candy at the checkout aisle is probably a billionaire right now. Because that's all the kids see. The parents? They're looking to see which checkout line is the shortest so they can get the hell out of there, and to hurry things along and avoid another kicking and screaming episode, we say, "Only ONE thing! And hurry up!"

Yea, so by the time the cashier has scanned all your items (some of which mysteriously appear in the cart without YOU putting them there), you've had to pay another $3 or so for those "checkout items" as well.

Whatever.

Here's my money, just take it and let me get the hell out of here.

Saying No

I ran into a mom that I knew from eldest's old school this afternoon.

Can I just say that I do love living in the town I live in? I'm always running into people I know somewhere. I like it. Now the town isn't THAT small, mind you. Or maybe it's just because the eldest has been in different activities, that I've gotten to know more parents, that way.

ANYWAY...........

So we were talking about our hectic lives and I brought up the fact that I'm doing the yearbook for eldest's school. And it is a task. Especially since I wasn't able to even start it until January of this year and the deadline is the beginning of April! Yikes! So I'm trying to scramble and get as many pictures from people as I can, while bringing my camera to school to get as many pictures as I can as well. The good thing about this yearbook? It's all being done online! The bad thing about it being online? Not all the pictures I get from people are digital, which means I have to scan them in and upload them, which can take some time. Plus I've had to learn the system.

Okay, I got off the main subject again........

She was saying to me, "Can you ever just say NO?"

And while it may seem that I'm doing a lot right now, the only thing I am doing at the school is yearbook, which is a very daunting task though. I haven't volunteered to do any other projects at the school. If someone does ask me to do something, if I can, I'll do it. If I can't, I say no.

So yes, I can say no.

I don't let people walk all over me, but I'm not a bitch either.

Well, let me take that back. I can be a bitch when I want to be. But traditionally, I'm not a bitch at my child's school. That wouldn't be conducive.

Play Ball!

Today was Opening Day for softball season here. The eldest almost didn't play this season, but I "encouraged" her to give a go, one more year. And today she thanked me for doing that.

I never forced her into doing it, but I did tell her that she should try it one more year and see how she likes playing in the upper division. The team she got on seems to be a really good group of girls and I really like the coaches for her team. They are helping her and the girls to learn things and grow in their abilities, yet they are also making it fun for them too.

Today they had two scrimmage games, in which they won both of them. The eldest did really well at batting and the coach had her bunting too, which makes me think that she might be the "bunt girl" this season.

I'm not going to lie. My child is definitely not one of the best players on the team. But she's also not the worst either. She's a good middle player. She tries her hardest, comes to all the practices, and that's all I ask of her. To do her best.

Hubby and I LOVE softball season. We love being out there at the fields, watching the games, enjoying the atmosphere out there, conversing with the parents. We have both said that once the youngest gets older and hubby's not going out to sea, that we want to join a co-ed softball team.

It was a long day today though. I had set my alarm for 6 a.m., but I either didn't turn the alarm on, or turned it off and went back to sleep. I can't remember. I just remember waking up, noticing the sun was out, looking at the clock and it saying 6:40 and saying, "OH SHIT!"

Yea, that was my daughter's alarm clock this morning, me saying "OH SHIT!" Nice........

We had to be there by 7:30 a.m. and we didn't end up leaving the fields until almost 1:30 this afternoon. Eldest wanted to watch a couple of the games.

Oh, and did I mention that my life at the fields is always at either the snack bar or the bathrooms? Yea, because the youngest likes to go to both places. All I ask is that she waits until sister has gotten to bat first. Oh, and I have to make sure she's dressed in grungy clothes because she likes to play in the dirt there too.

And new rule at the house too, one MUST take off their shoes before coming in the house after softball because WAY too much dirt gets tracked in the house.

Okay, I'm complaining, I know, but seriously, we do love softball season.

And next year? The youngest will get to start playing t-ball. I can't wait to see that! :D

Mean Mommy

I'm telling you, it sucks when I have to be the mean mom.

The disciplinarian.

The one where your child won't talk to you because she's mad at you.

Because you had to punish her.

Because she was being mean to her sister.

She certainly did not like it at all when I told her she couldn't go to her friend's house and play after school.

But I think I'm doing something right because after I talked with her about it after school and left her alone for a little while, she went up to her sister and apologized and has been nice ever since.

So I think she "gets" it when I talk to her.

Either that or she's just playing me and blowing smoke up my ass.

I'm really hoping it's the first one though.

Love Thursday - Sisters

Love is getting to spend an afternoon with your youngest sister, sharing how you each have Mom's hand gestures, having people notice you have the same profile, and just enjoying each other's company.

Guilty Pleasure

Do you ever have those movies that you just love, even though people might think you're dorky for liking it?

Yesterday I watched The Idolmaker. I LOVE this movie!! It stars Ray Sharkey, and this was Peter Gallagher's very first movie too, and that is really his voice singing! The other guy, Paul Land did not do his own singing in the movie. Peter Gallagher looked HOT too, when he was singing!! I have it saved on my DVR so I can watch it anytime I want. Yummy.......

Sometimes it's so nice just sitting in front of the TV getting lost in a favorite movie. You know the words and all the scenes too.

Memories Monday - Hollywood

This past Saturday afternoon, hubby, children and I were driving to Burbank to see our family. Now, I've driven this drive too many times to count. And I have NEVER taken the wrong freeway.

Until Saturday.

I was in a zone driving, traffic, like there always is and all of the sudden, I'm looking around and it certainly doesn't look very familiar to me at all. I'm like, "Where am I?"

I found myself on the 101, instead of staying on the 5.

Sure, I could have turned around and gotten back on the 5, but since I grew up in Los Angeles, I knew that the 101 would take me to an exit to get to Burbank.

Plus my eldest got the chance to see the infamous "HOLLYWOOD" sign. Something that I, myself, had not seen in years. She was so excited to see it! It's funny how growing up around things like that, you just take it for granted and it's not that exciting.

We drove past the exit signs for Melrose and Sunset.

I've actually only been to Melrose once in my life. It was fun though, perusing down the street looking at all the shops.

Now, Sunset?

Yea, been there.

The Whisky-A-Go-Go, The Roxy, Gazarri's.

What a time in my life! Going down to Hollywood was fun, that's for sure!

When I think back of all the good times I had at that time in my life with my friends, I smile.

I do wish, at times, that my girls get to experience that type of experience too, but then the "mom" in me takes over and says, "NO WAY!" I mean, I want them to experience life, but I do know that it's not always fun. There are things out there that I wish they would never have to see. I just hope that I can raise them well enough so that if they do come across things, they will know how to handle it.

Hollywood. Whether you lived it in the 60's the 80's, 90's or even today, everyone has their own story to tell and remember.

Love Thursday - Silly

Love is letting your sister dress you up silly and take pictures of you.

A Hug, A Kiss and Four Little Words

I Love you Momma.

That's what my youngest said to me as I was drying her off from her bath. Never mind the fact that I was trying to hurry her through the bath, as I had another stressful day. (My Tuesdays just suck lately!)

She gave me a hug and a kiss and said, "I Love You Momma"

How did she know I needed that?

All my stress just melted away after that.

Racing around all day going to work, picking up kids, getting new tires on, grocery shopping, yada, yada, yada just made me wind up into a huge stress ball.

I always LOVE, LOVE, LOVE hearing my children say "I Love You" without any premise behind it. Without me saying it first. Without the eldest wanting something. Unconditional.

That's the best.

It's times like this when I do just sit back and relax. Enjoy my girls. Snuggle with them to watch a show or read a book, or even spend a 1/2 hour blowdrying the eldest's hair for her so she can have "straight" hair.

I've got too much shit going on right now that sometimes I forget to "stop and smell the roses".

I've got to work on making my lists again to help me get back in control of it all. It helped before, I've got to start doing it again.

Memories Monday - Fitting In

Yesterday I had a talk with my eldest. In the next year and a half, she will enter the world of "officially becoming a teenager". So for right now, it's the pre-teen years, which are pretty hard in themselves.

She hates her hair.

She hates her freckles.

She wants to have straight hair like her friends.

She feels like she doesn't have as much as her friends.

Sometimes she feels like she doesn't fit in.

I can totally remember going through most of that too. And I remember friends wanting their hair totally straight too.

I remember not feeling like I fit in sometimes.

Just about all of my friends were only children.

They didn't have to share a bedroom (and I remind my eldest how lucky she is not to have to share a room). Since they were the only child, the money for clothes didn't have to be split 3 ways. They had two parents. They were the lucky ones.

Yes, I do remember feeling sorry for myself at times, and feeling left out because I couldn't get this or that, or feeling like I was the "poor relation" friend. I felt that my friends were WAY prettier than I ever was, WAY more confident in themselves.

I was insecure.

I may have not shown it, but I felt it on the inside.

I remember one night when ALL of my friends had dates and I didn't. I sat next to my stereo listening to Duran Duran while they were all out on dates. I felt so alone then.

And I told my eldest all about this, and how I felt.

I want her to know that it's not just something she has to go through alone. And she's not alone in it. I would have to say that probably every teenage girl goes through this at some point in their life.

I told her that even though I didn't have as much as my friends, I was still their friend. They didn't think that I wasn't worth "hanging out with" because I didn't have all the Guess? Clothing or other designer brands. They liked me for me. (okay, at least I HOPE SO! ).

I reminded her that her aunt does NOT have perfectly straight hair like it looks. She has to work HARD at making it straight. That if she didn't blow it dry and use a straightening iron (and she actually used to have my mom iron her hair with an iron at one point), she would have very curly hair. It would look like she had a perm.

I keep reminding my eldest that things don't always come easy. Sometimes you have to work hard at it.

And that it's not always about what you look like on the outside, because it's what's on the inside that makes the outside shine through and make you appealing to others.

Even now, being an adult, a mom, married, etc., I STILL get the feeling of not fitting in sometimes. I don't have a big house, I can't just go and spend money when I feel like it, there are still "clicks" with other women too. Although I do notice that it's not nearly as much as in high school.

I tell her that just because someone doesn't talk to you, doesn't mean they're stuck up or don't like you. Maybe they don't know you and maybe they are shy themselves. When someone is shy, they can come across as being "stuck up".

But then I do have to remind myself of what I DO have and appreciate what I do have. And remind my children to do the same.

I have to remind myself to enjoy life. Don't sweat the small stuff. Be grateful for what I do have. And I am extremely grateful for all of it. My husband, my children, my friends, my house and everything else.

I have to be an example to my children to show them to do the same.

Love Thursday - Friends Forever

I first met her in the backyard of a neighbor's house.

We were 10 years old and we hit it off immediately.

We lived 9 houses apart, growing up.

She shared her Barbie Dream House with me when I didn't get one.

She went camping with me in the summer with my family, and silly us, we read The Amityville Horror together up there.

We were always spending the night at each other's houses, although I liked spending the night at her house, as she had her own room.

I called her from my Aunt's wedding reception when we were 14 to let her know that John Stamos was there with the band, and I got to meet him.

We both LOVED the movie Times Square and Roller Boogie, two opposite ends of the spectrum, in my opinion.

We went to see Def Leppard together the night before the first day of high school.

We both had other friends that we hung out with, but still stayed friends.

We beat just about all the boys playing pool at her house (well, she was better than I, but then the pool table WAS at her house) when she had parties.

We were roommates for about a year.

She was my maid of honor at my wedding and I flew to a different state to go to her wedding.

We've shared secrets.

She was there for me when my mom died and my panic attacks last year.

I'll always be there for her, whenever she needs me.

Friends for almost 29 years, and even though we don't see each other that often, we still keep in touch, thanks to emails, blogs, and the phone.

One of my best friends, forever and ever.

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh

What a day this has been!

Talk about being stressed to the max!

At work I'm trying to get everything done, stop for a 1/2 hour, grab the youngest from preschool, bring her back to work with me, try and get more stuff done, but entertain the youngest at the same time, then race to get the eldest from school, then race home to give hubby a couple of checks and an important paper he needs, balance the checkbook, make dinner, get the eldest to softball practice, come home, grade papers for her teacher, make lunches for tomorrow, give the youngest a bath, go back to the field to grab the eldest and come home.

Oh, and did I mention that our dryer decided to take a dump right when hubby was drying his uniform? Oh, and THEN, about an hour later, the washing machine decides that IT doesn't want to work either!

By that time, hubby and I are just laughing about it. I mean, come on, what else can you do? When you are stressed to the max, and shit starts happening, and then more shit happens, you just get to a point where you have to laugh about it, or else check yourself into the funny farm.

We JUST bought a new water heater too, because our old one was on it's last legs. You know that's happening when you have to keep turning down the cold water in the shower to have a nice warm/hot shower. Well apparently the dryer AND the washer decided they didn't want to work either!

So it's to the laundrymat this weekend for me!

When hubby comes back from out to sea in a week or so, we'll be shopping for a new washer and dryer. But here's the kicker. They're outside.

Our washer and dryer hookups are outside on the back patio.

We had PLANNED on getting a new washer and dryer once we enclosed the back patio into a "three-season type" porch back there. Once it was more protected by the elements.

Yea, not so much.

We are going to look at getting a shed of some sorts or enclosure to put around the washer and dryer to protect it so that the new ones will be protected and last longer, since we can't wait until the porch is enclosed.

Like I said, sometimes you just have to laugh......

Memories Monday - Superbowl Sunday

Ahhhhh.....Superbowl Sunday......

Did I watch the game yesterday? Nope!

Do I ever watch the Superbowl? Rarely...

Do I like football? Actually, yes I do.

I liked going to the high school football games in high school. To even watch the game too!

I LOVE the TV show Friday Night Lights! I especially love Kyle Chandler!! I have loved him since he was in the TV show Homefront, back in 1991.

Okay, back to the Superbowl Sunday.

Back before we had children, I did remember watching the Superbowl on occasion. We would watch it with friends.

And even before we were married, I would go to the "Superbowl Parties" that would be going on, mostly just to hang out with friends.

There was one Superbowl Party, in particular, that will always stand out for me. It was 15 years ago, 1992.

I went to someone's house (I can't even remember whose house it was) and met up with friends over there. I had a nice time, but I was thinking about hubby (who wasn't there and wasn't hubby at the time, just someone who I truly thought I was going to marry and be with for the rest of my life, but wasn't too sure he thought that at the time, as we were just on again, off again, here and there, etc..... you get the picture ....).

See, in the town I grew up, it was a Gossip Mill. Everyone talked about everyone. Things were said. Rumors were started, you get the gist.

So I was talking to one of our mutual friends, Tracy, and I was telling her how I was unsure if I wanted to keep my interest in future hubby. That I wanted to, but I wasn't sure if I should, etc....

She told me something that I'll never forget. She told me to screw listening to everyone else. She told me to go with MY gut feeling. To believe in my feelings. If this was something that I wanted and I think would happen, then to go for it. It was MY life and I should do what I wanted. What I believed in. And Tracy was more of a friend to hubby than she was to me, so I was thinking that if she was saying this to me, about how I felt about a friend of hers, then she probably knew what she was talking about. Maybe she saw something there that I had thought I had seen too.

So I persevered. I decided to continue feeling what I was feeling. And just when I thought I was about to give up again? The man told me he loved me. And then proposed a week after he told me he loved me.

It was just a matter of time.

I guess she was right, huh?

Thank goodness for that!!!

Half-Birthdays

Here in our household, we celebrate 1/2 birthdays. Actually only the kids do, as us adults don't feel the need to have to celebrate every six months how much older we are getting.

It all started way back when my eldest was maybe 4 or 5 years old. She always wanted to know when she was turning the next "1/2" year every year. She was anal about that. And so, since we've been doing it with her, it's natural to do it with our youngest.

We don't do a big "To-Do" about it, we just get a small Carvel ice-cream cake, that's just enough for everyone to have a piece. No presents, just an ice cream cake.

There's one sitting in the freezer right now, waiting to be eaten tomorrow. It's my youngest's 4 1/2 birthday tomorrow. She can't wait!

I also think part of this "celebrating 1/2 birthdays" comes from my mom.

Not that she, or we, celebrated our 1/2 birthdays growing up.

But growing up, since my mom couldn't afford to get us a lot, she would do little things on Valentine's Day, etc.

And so that's what we're doing with our girls. Little things, like 1/2 birthdays.

Plus it's a good excuse to have ice cream.

Love Thursday - A Man and His Dog

Nothing says Love like a Man and His Dog

Rain, Rain....

....Go Away.....

I've never been one to care for rain. Oh, when it's been extremely hot for a long period of time, I don't mind the rain to cool things off. And I don't even mind the occasional rain here and there. A day's worth of rain? Sure, that's fine.

Two days? That's when it starts to get on my nerves some.

Three days? Forget about it!

And let me rephrase that, I don't care for rain when I have to go OUT in it. If I don't have to go anywhere? Doesn't bother me much at all.

I've NEVER liked driving in the rain. I remember the first time I did it and my mom was in the car. I slammed on the brakes (obviously not a good thing to do in the rain) and locked them and was swerving here and there. So my first experience driving in the rain? Certainly not a good one!

I don't like that your feet get wet, or the bottoms of your pants, or sometimes your sleeves too (I always carry an umbrella in the car, although I need to get a newer, better, larger one).

That's why I could never live in Washington. I know it's beautiful up there, but it just rains too much! We probably could have easily moved up there via the Navy, but I couldn't do it. Those people who get depressed living up there? That would be me. I need the sun. I'm not a sun worshipper by any means, but it does brighten up my mood. I have friends who live in Washington and they love it up there. I'm not knocking Washington by ANY means. It's just not for me.

We lived in Tennessee for about 8 months and talk about rain there too! Geez!!

I guess I just don't like living in places where it rains a lot. But that's just me, and to each his own.

I like where I live just fine now, thank you.

Memories Monday - The Bathroom

This morning I was getting ready for the day, and both my girls were in the bathroom with me, as they almost always like to do in the morning. Now, granted, we do have two bathrooms and I probably should just go and use mine, but I don't use the shower back there (too damn small, plus it doesn't work correctly right now anyway), and when I get out of the shower, I just want to get ready there.

Anyway, the girls were in there with me and I certainly don't have the biggest bathroom around. It's quite small actually. It reminds me a bit of the bathroom I had growing up.

I lived in a 1 bedroom duplex with my 2 sisters and mom and we had 1 bathroom. 4 girls and one bathroom? Yea, I don't see how we did it either!

But it always seemed like we were ALL trying to be in there at the same time! I know my mom got in and out of there as quickly as she could, she probably didn't want to spend too much time in a dinky bathroom with her 3 children. I swear my bathroom is smaller than the one we had growing up though.

Back to the bathroom growing up. I remember my mom put two "art pieces" that I did in the bathroom, hanging over the toilet. They were clay shapes of a cat and a fish, I believe.

The best part about this bathroom though? It had two mirrored medicine cabinets. But they were on opposite walls. So doing your hair was easy in my bathroom growing up! It was SO easy to see the back of your hair with the two mirrors! Way cool!

Even with my "two mirrors" in the bathroom, I was always so jealous of my other friends! They all pretty much had their own bathroom, and one of my friends even had a 1/2 bath attached to her bedroom! So she REALLY had her own bathroom!

When I moved out on my own, I was so excited to get my own bathroom!

So now, why, with having two bathrooms in our house, am I back to using the one that the kids use????

Who knows. Maybe it's because we haven't redecorated our bathroom yet and I like the ambience of the front bathroom? (Lord knows I've argued enough about the color with hubby! I LOVE the color, he thinks he's in an episode of Miami Vice) Could be. Maybe once we redo the back bathroom (ours), I'll want to spend more time in it.

Here's the "Miami Vice" bathroom. (Which I don't think it looks like, I like the way my friend called it, "Zen-like")

Maybe I just enjoy the company in the morning though.

A Mother's Intuition

Mother's Intuition....

You've all heard about it..

It is SUCH a powerful thing.

It is an AMAZING thing!

Some people often wonder how it works and there is just no way to describe it. It's just something a mother knows. And it's something that a "mother-to-be" would know too. I was pregnant before I had my eldest and I had a miscarriage. It was never known what the sex of the baby was, but I knew it was a boy. I just KNEW. I've known other people who have had the heartbreak of a miscarriage and they knew the sex of their baby too. Some have had it confirmed, some haven't. But they still just KNEW!

When I was pregnant with my youngest, I knew before I knew. I had an ultrasound scheduled and two days before, I went into a resale shop and bought the cutest little dress. I knew. The ultrasound confirmed what I knew.

My girls.

I know when something is bothering them. I know when there's something that just isn't right. And with my oldest, I push her to tell me. Sometimes I let it go, sometimes I don't. But she inevitably tells me about it.

I know.

My mom knew.

When I was a little girl, my mom told me that after they had gotten divorced, she told my dad to NEVER forget my birthday or Christmas. Just don't do it. Because I would never get over it if he did. I mean, how could she POSSIBLY know that about me at such a young age?

But she knew.

And she was right.

He did take off for a few years and I never got those Christmas or birthday presents from him anymore. And I didn't forget. It was something that hurt me so deeply inside. That was something that SHE knew that was important to me. That my dad would think of me on my birthday and Christmas. Two days out of the year. Two days that she KNEW were important to me.

How could she have known when I was at such a young age?

Mother's Intuition.

It's a powerful thing.