Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Conversations with my pre-teen

Ahhh.....the preteen years and the early teen years.

Hell, the late teen years and early twenties as well!

Okay, back to the preteen years.

Such the start of an emotional time for all preteen girls. The hormones are starting to flow, the bodies are changing, and the desire to "fit in", and have the cool clothes.

Being so sure of yourself one minute and so UNsure of yourself the next.

I frequently have conversations with my preteen about life and living it. Tonight was about being a good person (actually quite a few are like that). Treating others the way YOU want to be treated. Not judging someone by what you think they are like. And if someone you know is acting a different way, to ask them about it. You'll never know the answer if you don't ask. You'll never find out if there's a problem if you don't ask. It's about caring about the other person.

My preteen can have the biggest heart there is. Last year she spearheaded a Katrina Relief Fund at her school and the school ended up raising almost $1000 for it. All because she wanted to bring in a jar to her classroom to raise a few dollars for it.

But sometimes she can be the biggest snot and brat too.

Like I said....hormones.

I also think society can play a part in it too. That's why I frequently have convesations with her about it. And give her examples and show why certain things are wrong, or why certain things are right.

When I meet someone, I rarely, rarely ever had a preconceived notion about that person. I don't want to say I've NEVER had a preconceived notion about a person, because I'm sure I have at one point in time. I'm sure someone has told me something about a person I may find unflattering and that may have allowed me to think negatively about that person.

But I try to be a good example to my girls. To show them that you can't think a person is weird or different just because of how they look. Or dress.

I do have to say that I love the friends I grew up. And the atmosphere we had. It didn't matter the hair color, even if it was purple. Or a mohawk. Or ripped clothing. Or with spikes on it. We were open to knowing all people. And still are.

I could easily, EASILY, have the worst potty mouth in the town. I could cuss them up and down and sideways. But I don't, because I want to show my girls how to have good manners. Does that mean I don't cuss? Oh hell no. And I know they've heard me say things at times. Do I want them to think I'm perfect? Oh no. I know they need to know that I make mistakes too and I have to learn from them. And I will apologize to my children if I've gotten mad at them just because I'm PMSing. And I thank them when they do something I ask.

All I want is to raise them to be good, polite people with good manners, with the wisdom to know and learn from their mistakes.

I sure hope my preteen listened to what I said and took it to heart.

You never know with those preteens........ I know. I was one of them once......

2 comments:

WindyLindy said...

Hi Tina,

I found your blog!!!

I just wanted to say Thank you for the nice comment on Stacie blog about Mom's day!!!

When I look at that picture, I thought geez we had so little going for us, look at us now!!

Love,

Linda

Tina said...

Oh, you are so welcome Linda!