Friday, May 11, 2007

This, That & The Other

Damn, I can't believe this month is almost 1/2 over already!! Hubby has been gone for almost a month and a half now.

April was not a fun month for me. I was sick with the stomach flu for over 2 1/2 weeks! Blech! And it's not like I could just lay in bed all day long and have someone take care of me. Being the sole parent sucks big time when you're sick. I still don't know how my mom did it, and she had 3 kids all by herself, all the time.

Which brings me to my youngest sister. She's 10 years younger than me and we are a lot alike in a lot of ways. Sometimes when I see her go through things in life, I'm like, "Wow, that was me back then". We have always been very close too.

She just recently lost her father, due to a brain tumor, that somehow got "activated" when he had to have surgery on a broken leg. He was 80 years old. Before that he had rarely been sick a day in his life. I feel for her. But before he passed away, she was able to let go of all of the negativity she had for him. I never got to do that with my father before he passed away. It warms my heart that she got to do that with her father.

Yes, you read that right. We have different fathers. In fact, our other sister who is inbetween our ages, has a different father too. Now some of you may be thinking, "Wow, their mom must have been a hoochie-mama, with all of them having different dads." You couldn't be further from the truth. She just had HORRIBLE luck with me. Part of me wonders if this was because she lost her own dad when she was 13. My grandma did marry again when she was 16, so she had my grandpa for that, but I know it wasn't the same for her. My father ended up still being married to his first wife when he was married to my mom. (Yea, I know, nice, huh??!!!)

Then came along my younger sister's dad and he and my mom were supposed to get married, but then he decided to take off on her before it happend and before my sister was born.

And finally, came along my youngest sister's dad. When my mom got pregnant with her, she was already set enough in how she lived that she did not really want to get married to her dad.

Pretty much after that, she just quit dating alltogether. I mean, come on, how could she, raising 3 girls all on her own?! And she never asked for child support either. She told me once that she didn't want to have to rely on it for one thing, and she also didn't want to have to be obligated where we had to spend weekends, vacation or whatever with them.

I'm sure you are thinking, hello??!, there is a thing called birth-control. And no she wasn't catholic either. Maybe she was naive. In a lot of ways I think she was. She was a trusting person for the most part as well.

So even though we all had different dads, we were all together all the time. My dad rarely came around, my younger sister's dad NEVER came around, and my youngest sister's dad probably came around more than anyone else's.

But having your dad come around here and there, never at any specific time, doesn't make for a good relationship there. And both me and my youngest sister definitely had issues with that. Our grandpa was always around for us, so we did have a male figure in our lives, but he was grandpa, you know?

Anyway, back to my youngest sister. The service for her dad was this past Wednesday. She went and got to spend time with her two older sisters and older brother. I am SO happy for her. I LOVE the fact that she is getting to know another part of her family. Over the years, I have gotten to get to know my two older sisters (I actually have 3, but I've never met the other one) and my older brother before he passed away in 1992. And even though they are my family too, it's still so different from the relationship I have with my 2 sisters that I grew up with.

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My eldest daughter's softball team won first place in their division a couple of weeks ago. It was SO exciting! I was so happy for her team, and not just for my daughter. I was actually more happy for the coach, his daughter and the pitcher for the team. They had all been in the playoffs for 5 years in a row, and each time they had always taken 2nd place. Until this year. So it was a very heartwarming win for them.

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Mother's Day is this Sunday, and all I've asked for from my girls is to let me sleep in, and let me scrapbook that day. I don't want them buying me anything. To make me something is the best thing, because they made it for me.

It's also definitely a time where I do miss my mom a lot too, but a few years before she passed away, she let me know that it was okay for me to stay at home and enjoy my mother's day. After all, I'm a mom too. That was such a wonderful gift to give to me too. I got to start making my own mother's day memories with my girls (hubby and the eldest got on their hands and knees one year and cleaned the floors for me, because I was pregnant with the youngest at the time). So even though I miss not having my mom for mother's day, it's not as bad as if it was a day where I was with her every year.

And I do have my mother-in-law too though. She has been wonderful and has been there for me when I do need her.

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