A Slave To Fashion

......whatever fashion that may be.

My preteen came to me tonight and said, "How come everytime I think I've got the "hip" style, and then I go back to school, and everyone's wearing something different?"

Sigh.....................

Not that I'm sighing because of "oh geez, come on now", but it's because I've been there. Oh so many times!

SOOOO many fashion trends happened when I was growing up. The dittos in every color, the designer jeans, the 501 levis with the polo shirts. The bermuda shorts (which apparently are back in fashion?), the "flashdance look" (which my mom liked, because it was CHEAP!, The GUESS look, etc.

Thank goodness I never wore the "leggings under the mini skirt", although my sisters did. And apparently THAT'S back in fashion too! Come on people, can you NOT find anything NEW? Oh, and the skulls on things too! SOOOOO Melrose Avenue back in the 80's! My preteen wants to get a pair of slip-on Vans with those in pink. OH......MY..........GOD.......... Slip on Vans???!!!! That was SOOOOOO Fast Times At Ridgement High!! So now I need to go talk to her principal and see if the "skulls" are allowed at school (you never know nowadays, with the rules the schools have.

My preteen said she wishes she could find a "fashon trend" that everyone else would like and catch on to, as well. Yes, I know that feeling..........

I remember it all too well. I was lucky if I had one "COOL" outfit. (I did actually have more, a few, but certainly not as many as all my friends had) My mom was a single parent. She worked to support THREE girls. There wasn't much left over. When Christmas and birthdays came, she would let the family know what "type" of clothes I wanted. One year when the "designer jeans" phase was in, everyone got me one pair of jeans, so I would be able to have some like the rest of the crowd. That was awesome that they did that for me. Yea, of course the following year THAT phase was gone!

Okay my preteen ISN'T EVEN A TEENAGER YET and she's already going through this!! What, will my preschooler start doing this when she gets into 1st grade or something??? Shit!

I did tell my preteen though, before school started, that she shouldn't worry about getting too many clothes before school, because you never know what the "fashion trend" is going to be. And, apparently, I was right. Well, I knew about the leggings and skirt thing, but I had no idea about the bermuda shorts and slip on Vans! (Although I did see my 18 year old cousin wearing them, so I probably should have paid more attention to that)

The thing is, is that I'm not upset with my child about wanting the latest trends because I went through the same thing. I know what she's going through. But I did tell her that she needs to be comfortable in the style she's wearing too. She can't just wear something JUST because it's in style. If she doesn't like the way it looks (or I like the way it looks, more importantly), she shouldn't wear it.

Then she also asked me why can't we just go out and buy clothes wheneve we feel like it, like some of the other girls at school? Sigh......... Yes, it happened.......now have to deal with the "sorry honey, we just don't make THAT much money." If we go to a semi-expensive store (okay, because sorry honey, not shopping at Macy's, Nordstrom, or the like unless they're having an AWESOME clearance sale), it's the clearance racks. Or it's got to be on sale. What I would love to do though is go to L.A. and find some really cool hip clothing that no one else has worn yet, so Cheyenne could wear it. Maybe I should talk to some of my friends up there or my sister too, and see what they would pick out.

So anyone out there still have their 80's fashions they want to donate to my preteen in the meantime? I got rid of all my chunky beady necklaces and my gazillion bracelets. (Yes, I wore them all on one wrist like Madonna did in her early days. I could knock someone out if I hit them with that hand!) I do have a couple of pins though!

PRE.....

3 females in a house? Yea, you're bound to have a bevy of emotions going on. Especially when you've got a mom, who's husband is out to sea right now and doing this all alone, a pre-teen girl who can freak out if you even talk in a different tone of voice, and a preschooler who, let's face it, can be a tad spoiled sometimes, and I think already suffers from PMS.

This morning started out O...Kay......

I had to wake up the preteen. Oh yea, that's a feat in itself! She HAS an alarm clock! But the girl can sometimes just sleep right through it! Either that or she's just waits for it to stop beeping and goes back to sleep (I really think she inherited this from her daddy). So, if I'm in a decent mood, I'll do annoying little things to get her out of bed. For example.....this morning I just kept poking at her shoulder until she moved. Then I started talking about how she probably has to go to the bathroom REEEEEAAAAALLLL bad, and then would start tickling her stomach. Other times I'll pretend she's a puppet and make her mouth move and I would be her "ventriliquist" and make her say things. Other times I would try and wake her up with a sweet voice, give her butterfly kisses etc. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, and I get impatient I pull the covers off her and drag her butt out of bed by her feet. A combination of just about everything happened this morning. She was having some "issues" with her hair being "just right", but at least it was minor (THANK THE LORD!)

The preschooler? I think it was a PMS day today. There are times when she'll just yell and scream about something, and you know what? It can literally be exhausting to me! It just drains the life out of me. Do I cave in? Sadly yes, sometimes I do. I just don't want to hear it! And I think she knows it. But I did REAL good this afternoon in the car. She wasn't listening to me, and I told her she was getting a time out when we got home. She kept on about "Noooooooo, Mommmy, I don't waaaaaaaaaant tooooooooooo" I stuck to my guns and when we got home, in her room she went. Of course now she's been in there for over a 1/2 hour. Her timeout is finished, but she's enjoying herself and being quiet in there, and sometimes really, that's what she needs.

Oh! And speaking of the preschooler today, we were at my work and she went and had her daily conversation with my boss. Guess what she talked out? Her day at preschool yesterday! I BARELY got anything out of her when I asked her yesterday, but today she just waltzes in to his office and divulged a bevy of information! I found out more from him that I did her! Geez!

And me, the premenopausal mom (I wonder if it may be coming in the next few years), I'm in a pissy mood because I think I'm going to probably be having to deal with a mom at the preteen's school that I am sick of dealing with (nothing like worrying about what's going to happen next, eh?). That and the preschooler who is emotional today, Oh, and the preteen too.......

So, back to this car ride home......the preschooler was in a tizzy, the preteen was trying to be bossy to the preschooler, and this PREmenopausal mom was saying to herself, "WHEN is he coming home????? You mean I have to deal with this for SIX months next year without him?" Damn, I'm going to have people on speed dial next year and probably offer to clean their houses if they'll take the kids for a while! (Actually, no, I probably wouldn't do that, because I hate cleaning, but I'll wash their cat for them!)

All I can say, is God help my husband when the 3 of us end up having our periods together! (Although hopefully when the preschooler gets old enough, I'll have gone through menopause, and not be IN it)

I am home ALONE!

Wow, I am home, here in my house, alone! (Well, the cat, the hamster and fish are here too).

Today is the first day of school for BOTH my girls!

Took the eldest to school, went to the classroom and the teacher wasn't letting any of the parents in (which is fine, my god, they're in sixth grade now, for goodness sake), but my little on sneaked inbetween the teacher and the door to say goodbye to her sister, so I had to go in to get her back.

Then it was off to my youngest's school. She's in preschool. Once she got there, all she cared about was going to play out back and play with the basketball. Oh, and she had to go potty too. Didn't cling onto me at all. None whatsoever. Barely gave me a look goodbye. I had to call her over so she would give me a kiss goodbye. Well, I guess that's a good thing though, right?

So now I am here at home. I don't have to leave this house for a couple of hours. So I should be cleaning my house up. What am I doing? Sitting here on the computer. Will I clean? Hmmmmmmm..............................maybe................I probably should.........................it's not good to procrastinate you know..................................we'll see...................................................

Summer Vacation is Winding Down......

.......and then things will be going full speed next week!

Both my girls start school next week. Yes, both of them. One will be in sixth grade, and my little one will be starting preschool, going 3 days a week. I'm so excited, yet, I know I'm going to be busy too!

My little one will still come to work with me about 1 1/2 days during the week, but that's now about 1/2 of what she used to do. Don't get me wrong, I actually DO love having her come to work with me. She has since day one. My boss bought me one of those Happy Camper bed things, so I could have a crib in my office for her. He had originally made the suggestion back when I was pregnant with my first child, but we were leaving the state not too long after she was born, so I had to quit then. But thankfully, I was able to come back to work for him once we came back here. So when I got pregnant with my little one, I told him I was taking him up on his offer he made those years back. She has been affectionately called the "Office Mascot" (I even got a gag gift at the last Christmas party, called "Jordan Spice"). I have a gate in my doorway so she can't just wander around the office, she has to stay in mine. But she loves my boss. Whenever she gets the chance, she'll go in his office and pull up a chair and sit next to him and tell him about her day. I think it's so wonderful and lucky for me that I have a boss like that.

So anyway, I will have one morning to myself, which is something I'll desperately need. My husband is in the Navy and will be shipping out soon. He'll be doing short little trips for now, but next year is the six monther. Sigh........ I really, really don't like them at all. I miss him. The girls will miss him. BUT, it's something we deal with. We just do. I married a Navy man. I married a Navy CAREER man. It's something that's been a part of my life for over 14 years now. And that day when we see him come off the ship and run and hug is SUCH a wonderful day!! Here's a picture of my oldest hugging him when he came off the ship a few years ago....

It just brought tears to my eyes when she ran up to him!!

I'll be mostly a single parent for a while now. So you can see why I'd be excited! While I love my children dearly, having them in school DEFINITELY helps me!

Then we'll also have soccer practice, games on Saturdays, school functions, etc........

Okay, maybe Summer Vacation isn't so bad.......

I have this friend who homeschools her 5 children. Yes, you heard me right, FIVE children. Her husband USED to be in the Navy and so there were times she had to do it alone too, with FIVE children. She has amazing strength, faith and endurance to do that by herself. Oh, I know she has a circle of friends and family too, but still she did the single parent thing for quite a while by herself. She's definitely someone I admire who can do that, and still be sane!

So I guess it's time to dust off that "Ubermom" hat and start wearing it again, and get back in the groove..........

Well, at least not for a couple more days............

The Age of 18-ism

First let me start off by saying that I have a very unique relationship with my sister and my cousin. My sister is exactly 10 years younger than me, and my cousin is exactly 20 years younger than me. There's something about that "exactly 10 years apart" between the 3 of us, that makes it a special relationship between the 3 of us (at least for me, that is...)

I look at my sister and the things she goes through, or does, and it so reminds me of when I was THAT age. There are so many things she has done that I've done too, when I was her age. Oh god, don't you just hate saying that, "When I was your age". It sounds so old. Can't se come up with another phrase for that? I'm feeling like I need to get my walker out, or go buy one! Geez, I'm ONLY 38!

So anyway, my cousin is, yes, you guessed it, 18. The era of FINALLY becoming an adult. The age of "Yes, I'm an adult, so I can do whatever I want" "I'm an adult and you can't tell me what to do". Does it stop at 18? Hell no, we have this "I know everything and you are stupid" attitude towards our parents until we are in our mid-20's. It's something we all go through. Whether we admit it or not, voice it to others or not, it happens. And of course we DEFINITELY won't admit it while we're going through it because, hell, that would mean that we DON'T know what we're doing, and that's just not true. Even if we DO know that we don't always know what we're doing, we don't want to admit it. We just want our parents to fix things when we tell them to. We would have to admit that we DO need our moms. We'd have to admit that "Damn, we were acting like a bitch to our moms" Now, maybe some girls don't go through this as severe, which, god I hope so, because I'm NOT looking forward to it when my girls get to be that age.

And really, you DON'T realize what you're doing, and how you're treating them at that age. Because it's just something that happens. It's so normal (at least in my case, and that's all I'm saying...). Just because you've gone through puberty doesn't mean that the hormones aren't still raging out of control. Plus there's that gray area in which your mom still wants you to be that little girl, but wants you to be grown up as well. It's a hard adjustment for all.

I look back now, I and I think, damn, I was so mean to my mom in some of the things I said. (Not that I EVER cussed her out or anything like that, just had this attitude that was like, "Mom, I'm an adult now, I can handle it myself. I'm in this world of things that you aren't and you couldn't possibly know what I'm going through, or understand it)

Of course it wasn't always like that. There were times that I would have really cool conversations with my mom. There was this one time......

My mom and I were sitting in the living room, having a beer and talking one time Yes, I was 18. I actually had a mom who would let me drink with her. No, we weren't white trash, she just remembered when she was that age, and didn't want to be a hypocrite. It was nice, it was civil. She had some things she wanted to tell me, now that I was 18. She told me that twice, before I was conceived, when she was in her early 20's, she had gotten pregnant and her parents had forced her to give the baby up for adoption. She was 22 and 24, I think. This was back in the early 60's. She wasn't part of the hippie movement though. That was SUCH a shock! She said she wanted me to know, in case they ever came to the door looking for her, their "birth mom". She wanted to let me know that she had done drugs in the past. She had even done Angel Dust once. HELLOOO??!!!! Okay, total shocker, never knew my mom did THAT?! She didn't seem the type. See that's the things with us moms. We DID do things in the past. Doesn't mean we do it now, but sometimes even moms screw up, and good ones at that. Then she told me that if I ever wanted to do drugs, to ask my Uncle, and he'd do them with me. Ummmmm.....okay, yea, like THAT was going to happen. "Ummmm, Uncle? I'd like to try some heroin, would you do it with me?" Not that I ever TRIED heroin, NO WAY. Uh-uh. Not going to happen, didn't happen, never going to happen.

Then she started asking me questions.

Was I a virgin?

No mom, I'm not.

Was it with so and so?

No mom, it wasn't.

Have you ever tried drugs?

Yes mom, I tried a couple, but I didn't care for them, and one has such a weird effect on me, that I don't want to do them again. (It WAS an open and honest relationship, but that didn't mean I was going to give out ALL the details, I was 18, after all.....)

Okay, you get the gist of the conversation, now, don't you? When I look back on it now though, it was such an awesome conversation. So open and honest. Sex, drugs and rock 'n roll (okay so we didn't talk about rock 'n roll, but it sounds good, doesn't it?). Did I stop my "attitude" with her? Yea, no. Didn't happen. Not for a few years. But I WISH I knew what I was doing. I WISH I realized what I was doing and could have stopped it. We moms don't deserve that, but we do put up with it, because we remember. We remember what WE did, and we remember that we DO get out of that phase. I remember when my sister was that way to our mom. There were times I wanted to smack her upside the head and tell her to stop it. But I didn't. I remember that I did it. And my mom did too. She mostly just rolled her eyes at the whole thing, and didn't take it to heart. She knew. She knew it was just a phase. She knew she had raised us well. And it was a phase. My sister did get over it.

Now, the cycle is starting again. My cousin. She's 18. But maybe, just maybe, if she knew that her mom does understand, or knew that we "elders" do get it, it might help? That if she's going through something she doesn't quite understand, that some one else, someone in her family does? I can hope.......

18 is SUCH an awesome age, but it's also such a a turmoil age too. Would I want to be 18 again? Uh, yea, no thank you. With age comes wisdom. I don't want to think I know everything, when there is so much that's going to happen. Give me a break. I'm 38. I KNOW everything now! (Yea, that's what I keep telling myself, just keep saying that, maybe it'll be true when I'm 88).......................

Music and Memories

Back to the subject of music and memories......

The other day when I was working out I started thinking about this and about how certain songs bring back such strong feelings, emotions and memories. Yes, the first memory that I had music attached to was Saturday in the Park by Chicago.

But now to more recent ones.....

I was waching VH1's 100 top Teen Stars and Shaun Cassidy came. Man.....I so remember listening to him in 4th grade, and having my cassette player and my case of cassette tapes with me, and listening to him and wanting all his tapes.

Junior High....by FAR the most powerful song I have from that time is Christopher Cross' Sailing. That ALWAYS brings me back to the junior high dances at our school, and me ALWAYS wanting to dance with a boy. But sadly, no boy asked me. ::::::::going back in time:::::::::: I was in 9th grade and it was the last dance of the school year. I had ALWAYS wanted to dance with this boy Mouse (his real name is Mike, Mouse was a nickname), but he never asked me. So I grew some balls, sucked in my breath and headed over to where he was to ask him to dance. Was he going to say no? God, I hope not!! I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to dance. Guess what? He said YES! Oh my god, my heart was beating a mile a minute! I couldn't believe he actually said yes!!! It was the best 4 minutes and 18 seconds of my life (at least in junior high)! After the song was over I thanked him (seeing as he was pulling away after the song was done) and floated back over to my friends. In high school and beyond we would run into each other, and I would definitely consider him a friend. He was always nice to me. I wonder if he ever knew how much of a crush I had on him in junior high? So yes, to this day, when I hear that song, I revert back to that gym in junior high.

High School................damn......WAY too many songs to have one in particular. When I hear Love Cats by The Cure, it makes me think of Stacie when she was going out with this one guy, Tony, I think. When I hear How Soon Is Now by The Smiths, it reminds me of when us girls went to the beach and were listening to that song. When I hear True by Spandau Ballet, it just reminds me of being in 10th grade. Cruel Summer by Bananarama reminds me of the summer of 11th grade. Depeche Mode just reminds me of ALL of high school, especially getting to see them at Irvine Meadows, sitting 2nd row CENTER baby! Madonna's early songs remind me of 10th grade too. SOOOO many good songs in high school!!!

After high school......Here I Go Again by Whitesnake totally reminds me of when Stacie and I went driving around one night.

Married life.......two songs stick out the most for me and my husband. First one....I Love You Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel is our song. One time when it was on, my husband pulled me into the living room where we danced to it. 2nd song....Innagodadavida by Iron Butterfly. Well, let's just say that's a "private song", if you get my drift.

Music has always been such a part of my life, because so many emotions are attached to it (I won't bore you with all the "heartbreak" songs from when a guy dumped me, that's just too damn depressing) Breakstuff by Limp Bizkit is SUCH a great song to listen to when I'm pissed off. Disco music totally makes me feel happy. I like some country music. Love hard rock too, mellow music, pop music and so much more. I can't wait to see what other songs will come in my life to have memories attached to them.

A Letter to My Younger Self

Ahhhhh, had a nice workout today, Oprah was on at the gym, yippee!!!

The topic on Oprah today was about mothers and daughters and how daughters mimic, or feed off their mothers, and what they say, causing them to have low self-esteem. There was this one girl, who was absolutly gorgeous, but thought she was hideous. She got this from feeding off what her mother did to her ownself in the mirror. Her mother look in the mirror and think she was always too fat, or not pretty enough, which caused the daughter to do the same to herself in the mirror.

It's amazing what children "learn" from their mothers.

It took me over 10 years to lose the "baby fat" I accumulated, and then some, from my 2 children. It took a high cholesterol reading to finally jumpstart me, along with the death of my own mother, just months before.

I think back to how my mom was when I was growing up. I really don't ever remember her looking at herself in the mirror and thinking she wasn't pretty enough or anything like that. My mom rarely, ever, wore makeup. She never dyed her hair, used face cream or anything like that. Of course she also was a single mom, raising 3 girls on her own, so I wonder if she even thought much about doing that.

I truly hope that I am setting a good example for my daughters. I told them that they always need to play a sport. I have two reasons for that, keeping them active, and hopefully that will keep them from having too much "idle time" where they may hang out with people who'd rather do drugs or drink. Now, mind you, I was one of those people, and a lot of my friends were like that too. Not that we ALWAYS did drugs or drink (in fact I rarely touched any drugs, just didn't like what they did to me, but drinking, ahhh, that's another matter entirely). We partied, we went out dancing (HEY, that IS a form of exercising, you know.....), but that's not all we did either. We were concerned with our looks, we were concerned with the "trendy" clothes, we got good grades. We did have a lot of fun. But I don't want my daughters being like that. I'd like them to enjoy playing sports (I did play on the Varsity Volleyball team in my senior year), get good grades, have aspirations, etc.

I want them to be happy with themselves. Not to feel insecure (which, let's face it, all girls do at some point or another) too much. To take care of themselves, feel confident.

My eldest is turning 11 next month and she already wants to wear makeup. She got her hair cut today and it looks totally cute on her. She is definitely worrying about her looks already. I try and think back to when I was her age, so I can try and relate and not be so "oh gosh, those were the OLDEN days". I do let her wear eyeshadow, but if it's caked on too much, she has to wipe some of it off. I try and tell her that, "Hey, I've had over 25 years experience with this stuff, I think I MIGHT know what I'm doing" Not that I'm a makeup expert, by any means, but I know what looks overdone, you know?

Then on Oprah, two celebrities, were asked to write letters to their "younger selves" as to what they could do differently.

So I started thinking about that. What would I write to "younger self" and tell her to do differently?

I think for starters, I would tell myself to stand up straight. Be proud of my boobs. Now, I'm not saying to flaunt them, but to have a good posture. From the time I was in 4th grade and "poking out", a boy teased me about them, and I started slouching. It became a habit quickly and even my grandma could not get me to stop doing it. It wasn't until I was working at Contempo Casuals (remember that store?), and this girl working there, Tatiana, kept poking me in the back, telling me to stand up straight, be proud of myself.

I would tell myself to be happy with myself and my body. Looking back at pictures, I realize, "Damn, I was thin then!". My friend, Susan, would always tell me that I shouldn't wear the baggy pants. I should wear the more flattering clothes. She was right, I shouldn't have worn them. I look at pictures of me with them, and then wearing a mini skirt and yea, you noticed the difference. Most of my friends were all shorter than me, and smaller boned, so of course I felt "bigger".

I would tell myself not to be so insecure with my looks. I always felt I was second fiddle to my friends. I thought they were all better looking than me. (Oh I still think they are all stunning looking to this day, but at least I'm happier with myself). It wasn't until I met my husband, who thought I was the "prettiest", that it really made me be happy with myself. I always thought that they liked me because of the "boobs factor" (Yes, hubby is a boob man, in case you were wondering)

I would tell myself so many other things too. But then again, when I think about it, if I wasn't those things, and been that way, I wouldn't end up with what I have today. And I truly love what I have today.

So, question to you all, what would YOU tell your younger self? What advice would you give to her (or him)?

A Legacy of A House

My two sisters, myself, my aunt and my uncle are in the process of selling a house that has been in our family for over 56 years. Yes, 56 years.


Back in 1950, my grandma and grandpa John bought this house:



They moved from South Dakota to California in 1942 with their son (I actually have a letter that my grandma wrote to my grandpa John when he was on his way out here looking for work), and settled into an apartment in Hollywood.

In 1943, my mom was born.

Finally, they were able to have the American Dream and buy their own house in 1950, for $40,000, if I remember right. A 3 bedroom, 1 bath house. (Actually, one of the bedrooms had a door to the other bedroom, which was kind of neat). My mom told me that she was so happy she didn't have to share a room with her brother anymore.

Life was good for a while, but in 1956, my grandpa John died from cancer. As tragic as it was, they had had the good sense enough to have mortgage insurance, and the house was paid off and my grandma, now alone with two kids, did not have to worry about a mortgage payment.

Time went on, and my grandma worked as a secretary part-time to help make ends meet.

A couple of years went by, and she happened to meet her friend's brother. He had two children as well. They fell in love, and one weekend, left a note for their teenage children that they had run off to Mexico to get married. (Did I happen to mention that my grandma eloped with her first husband as well?). This was in 1959.

Now, they went from 2 kids each, to 4 teenagers in one household, two boys and two girls.

In 1960, I guess they realized that they needed to expand the house some, since my grandma was due to give birth to my aunt Lori soon. So they added onto the house:


They had plans drawn up and everything, and added on the addition themselves. (That's my grandpa on the right, and my two uncles on the left, helping him). The bedroom (or den, or sitting room, whatever you want to call it) in the back, was extended out further, and another bathroom was added on. (Which I'm sure was desperately needed with six people, soon to be seven living in the house).

Life went on, the teenagers grew up, moved out, some got married and had kids of their own. Christmas was always a big thing, with the whole family over, celebrating. Parties were even had there frequently. The new add-on (which was officially called "The Den" in the household) was quite big and ready for entertaining. My grandpa built a bar for the den (woohoo, some of the liquor that was back there behind that bar!) as well.

My aunt pretty much grew up as the only child in the house, as my mom (who was the youngest teenager) was 16 when my aunt was born. Of course I was over there a lot (and my sisters too), since we lived in the same town and my mom was over a lot to visit. My aunt was 8 when I was born.

Tragedy struck again, in 1992, when my grandma had a stroke. After some time, she seemed to be getting better, but then took a turn for the worse, and in January of 1993, she passed away. My grandpa was SO lost without her. She was his life for over 33 years. He was never right after that. He passed away in 1996, and was finally with his love again.

When my grandma and grandpa got married, the house still stayed in my grandma's name. I don't know why it did, maybe my grandpa felt that he had no right to it, since she and her first husband had bought it together. But even though it was in my grandma's name, it was THEIR house together. I mean look at the picture above, HE added onto THEIR house. So it being HER house was on paper only.

When my grandma passed away, the ownership of the house was transferred into my mom, my aunt, and my uncle's names. When my grandma had her stroke in 1992, my mom moved back into the house to help take care of my grandpa. After he passed away, she still stayed there. There was talk about selling it and such, but my uncle said that he would never pressure my mom into moving. And I think my mom was in her comfort zone. I don't think she wanted to leave it.

My mom and I had always talked about when she retired, she would move down here and we would buy a house with a guest house for her, or a duplex together. But it always seemed to be "in a couple of years". Well, after about 5 years or so, and my husband getting a big raise, and the housing market starting to start it's extreme ride up the escalator, we told my mom that we couldn't wait any longer, we had to buy a house of our own. But we would buy a house were we could add on an apartment just for her, when she did decide to retire and move down here.

So mom retired. Then she went back to work part-time. It always kept getting put off. Then, in the year 2004, she said that she was finally ready. Next year, the house would be sold, and instead of moving down here with me, she was going to move up to Henderson where my aunt lived and my sister as well. She said that my sister needed her more. (okay a WHOLE other can of worms, I'm not opening just yet).

Tragedy struck again. On December 18th, 2004, my sister called me to tell me that mom had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. She may have had a stroke. I drove up there as quickly as I could (my aunt tried to get me to not drive up there in the state of mind I was in, but I told her that grandma would watch over me and make sure I got up there just fine, and I did). There was no hope. On December 19th, 2004, my mom passed away.

So yet again, more owners were added to the title of the house. This time, my mom's 1/3 ownership went to me and my two sisters.

My sister lived in the house for almost a year and a half taking care of it, because we couldn't sell it yet, because we had to go through probate. Now, just recently, probate is finished, and the house is on the market.

Back on the real estate market after not being on it for 56 years. Here's a picture of the house that was taken within the last year:

Since it was first owned in our family in 1950, few things have changed. The addition was added on, the dining room on the right was extended a little bit (it used to be a bay window-type wall in the front), the entryway into the dining room was widened so that it could be more open. Hardwood floors in the living room and dining room were covered up with carpet (I'd love to see what they look like now though). The "service porch" (as it was called) off the kitchen was remodeled to include a pantry and have room for a dryer. But other than those things, nothing REALLY major has been done to it. There is a door in the "service porch" for the milkman to take out the milk bottles and put a new one in. (I kid you NOT, it's still there!!)

Soon, a new owner will own this house. A house filled with SO many memories will just be that for us soon, memories.......and so many good ones at that..........

Working out when you can't watch Oprah

Okay, first of all let me start by saying that going to the gym and working out on the first day of your period SUCKS! It makes you feel like you've never worked out before! At least it did for me today.....

It was one of those days where I just wanted to stop the machine, get the hell out of there, go home and lay in bed.

But I didn't.......yes, I was a good girl and finished my workout, although I was certainly counting down the minutes I had left, or how many I had done.......

Into minute 10.....Damn, do I really want to do this today? Oh, my stomach's not feeling so hot, maybe I should stop.....

No Doubt comes on the mp3 player.....Okay, I'll get through this song and then see what happens...

A few more songs come on, I'm busy thinking about my sister, Heidi, who recently called, and thinking about the house that we're selling...Wow, we actually got an offer on the house, but it's a sucky offer. Hopefully they'll take our counterbid, either that or someone else will come along soon and make a better offer.

Now I'm 1/2 way through the workout...Wow, I made it 1/2 way and I'm still breathing okay, I guess it's not THAT bad, let's see what it's like at 30 minutes, I've already done 2 miles...

Okay, now a few sucky songs (I guess I can't call them sucky, after all I DID put them on my mp3 player, didn't I?), or should I rephrase that, some songs come on that just don't fit the "mood" for exercising.

::::::::::::off track for a second:::::::::::::::::

A friend of mine was saying how certain foods can evoke memories of things, or people. Well, I think that's DEFINITELY true of songs as well. So many different memories come to mind when so many different songs come on. Whenever I hear "Saturday In the Park" by Chicago, it brings me back to hearing that at a Motocross event that my mom took me to, when I was MAYBE 5 years old. That is the oldest memory I have regarding a song. There are way too many more to even start writing about

:::::::::::::okay, back to the gym::::::::::::::::

Which makes me think....Um, why don't I just change the setting to just play a band that I like a lot of songs to work out to? Damn, I don't want to do that now, let's just see what comes next. Linkin Park, okay, cool, that's a good song to keep going on this machine...

You know, it's amazing the things that just go through your mind, when you're trying to finish your workout, and there's nothing on the TV's there, that you want to watch....Damn, if I was able to get here an hour earlier, I could have been watching Oprah. Now that's always riveting and keeps my mind of working out. It makes the time go by faster.

36 minutes into the workout....Woohoo, I'm getting there! I can finish this! What's next coming on? Danzig? Uh, no, heard that "Mother" song way too many times, I'm bored with it. Next! Usher....Okay, I can deal with this one.

I can't even remember what the last songs that were on that I was listening to, I just remember that I got down to the "cool down" period.....Yea! Only FIVE more minutes left!

I finally finish, thank goodness, and get off the darn machine (I shouldn't call it that, I really DO like working out on it most of the time), and go clean it off, like a good workout person does, grab my stuff and head down the stairs. I go down the first stair and what happens? My stupid ass left knee starts giving out....WHAT??!! Okay, shit, come on body, I just gave you a good workout, working out the cardio for 50 minutes and my knee doesn't want to cooperate? Damn.....

So I do a sort of hop quickly on that leg when I use it down the stairs and make it look like I'm just trying to get down quicker. Once I'm on level ground, it starts working properly again. Guess my knee just didn't like the stairs today....

To my car I go, and off to home I go to shower and eat dinner with my family. See you next week YMCA!

Quick with the Wit

My youngest always seems to ask the question of all questions. She constantly asks about things. Now, my oldest did too, but either she let me think about it for a minute, or the questions were easy to answer. Not my youngest......

This morning.......

"Mama, why are is the fish smiling at me?"

"Because he's happy to see you!"

"Why is he happy to see me?"

"Because he loves you!"

Okay, that wasn't so hard. But these questions just come out of the blue and she wants an answer ASAP! If I don't answer within the first 5, or 2 seconds, she's asking you again, and again, and again.....

So here is when I was quick with my wit......

About a year and a half ago ( I think), she was watching the signal lights on the street. So she asked what the Red, Yellow and Green lights mean. No problem! Those were easy to answer!! Then she started coming up with other colors. Here's where I had to get creative.......

"What does a pink light mean?"

"Be a Princess"

"What does a blue light mean?"

"Be Happy"

"What does an orange light mean?"

"Be a clown"

"What does a purple light mean?"

"Go crazy!"

What does a brown light mean?"

............

...............

..............

(okay, trying to come up with something neat, but, alas, the first thing that comes to my mind............)

...........................

..............................

......................"Go poop"

Yea, and I'll bet you'll never guess which light makes her laugh the most when she asks what that light means..............

Yea, the "go poop" brown light.....

So I'm not ALWAYS quick with the wit, but at least I'm creative sometimes....................

My Baby Turns 4 Today!!!

Wow, I just can't believe my baby is turning 4 today! She certainly has been waiting for it long enough! A while back she wanted to know whose birthday comes next before her birthday. So I had to go down the list of family members to get to her birthday. For months she knew that after it was Uncle Dan's birthday, it would be her birthday. And that when she turns 4, she gets to be in a booster seat in the car. No more car seat! Wow.........that is going to be so eerie, no car seat! She'll now get to use the regular seatbelt with her booster seat. Oh, speaking of booster seats, we got a COOL one! We were going to get her a "girlie" one, but the one they had in Target was SOOOOOOOOOOO pink it was pukey! (And I LOVE pink!). So this one is upgraded, dark brown & black, more cushey and even has lights on the headrest part in case she needed light to read or do activities! Damn!!!

Awwww, she just woke up and I hugged her and said, "Happy Birthday! You are FOUR years old today!"

"I'm FOUR years old today?!" (Holding up four fingers)

"Yes you are!"

"YEAAAA!!!!"

What a much better day today is than the day she was born. It was exciting, but yet scary too.

See, I was only 34 weeks along when she was born.

A few days prior, I took a non-stress test for my pregnancy. They noticed my blood pressure was high (I have been diagnosed with high blood pressure for about 9 years now) and had me go up to labor & delivery to get checked out. Well, after examining me, they noticed I was about 2-3 centimeters dialated! They said I had been having some contractions, but I never noticed them. (Which is odd, since I do feel just about everything in my body!)

So I got put on steroids to help further develop my baby. I had to come back every 12 hours to get a shot. In the meantime, my oldest daughter was at gymnastics and they wouldn't let me leave the hospital just yet to get her. So I called a dear friend of mine to go get her for me.

After they finally released me, I went to get my oldest daughter and we went home. I was able to get a hold of my husband too (yea, he wasn't here, he was up in Seattle on a port visit with the ship he was connected to), and he had me call his parents to come down just in case I needed them.

Next day....we went to the hospital around midnight to get my next shot, then came home. I actually went to work that day too, because I had to do payroll. While there though, I didn't feel good AT ALL! So my boss drove me home and my in-laws took me back to the hospital (it was time for the next steroid shot anyway). By that time labor seemed to progress a little more, my blood sugars were way up (oh yea, did I mention I had gestational diabetes as well?!), my blood pressure was up, etc. So they put me on more medicine, and stopped my labor.

Next day.....August 3, 2002..........doctors wake me up EARLY in the morning. My body is not doing well, and I am far enough along that they think my baby has a REALLY good chance being born early...34 weeks along.....it took me FIVE HOURS to get a hold of my husband.....FINALLY!..... and he got permission to come home and then tried to get a flight home.

In the meantime, I called my dear friend, Michelle, and asked her if she wanted to come help me deliver this baby! She was SOOOO excited to be there and witness it! My in-laws still had my eldest, but my mother-in-law wasn't doing too well with all the excitement and stress going on, so she called my mom and asked her to come down to help with Cheyenne. So my mom and my aunt came down. And I'm so glad that they did, my mom was able to see a grandaughter right after she was born.

My husband made it to the hospital just as I was getting ready to push my daughter out. Now this was an experience for us as well, as my oldest daughter has to be born via c-section. It was the most amazing thing, giving birth to my youngest. I cried, I was so happy.

She did end up having some problems though. Her lungs weren't fully developed so she was on Surfactin (sp?) for a few days to get her lungs matured, one of her lungs did collapse and she had to have a chest tube inserted, jaundice, multiple tests, BUT she was only in NICU for a week. But that week was the longest week of my life.

Now?! She's so incredibly healthy! She's full of life & vigor. She makes me crazy sometimes, but makes me laugh just as much. She's a spitfire, that's for sure. And she's mine. And she's FOUR years old today! (I always remember that Bill Cosby performance when he talks about the boy, Jeffrey, who was on a plane with him one time and said over and over, "I'm four years old. I'm four years old." ) :D

Listening to him read and sing.....

I am sitting here on the computer and off in the living room, I hear my husband reading a story to my youngest, on the eve of her 4th birthday. It's a Blue's Clues book with a button that plays music that you sing rhymes too. Now mind you, he reads the books fabulously to her, but his singing? Well, let's just say it's not in tune with the music. Either he ends before the song is done or the music is done before he is.

But you know what? My daughter could CARE one bit! All she cares is that Daddy was reading a book to her. And that is just the sweetest thing ever.

I just had to share.........................