A Letter to My Younger Self

Ahhhhh, had a nice workout today, Oprah was on at the gym, yippee!!!

The topic on Oprah today was about mothers and daughters and how daughters mimic, or feed off their mothers, and what they say, causing them to have low self-esteem. There was this one girl, who was absolutly gorgeous, but thought she was hideous. She got this from feeding off what her mother did to her ownself in the mirror. Her mother look in the mirror and think she was always too fat, or not pretty enough, which caused the daughter to do the same to herself in the mirror.

It's amazing what children "learn" from their mothers.

It took me over 10 years to lose the "baby fat" I accumulated, and then some, from my 2 children. It took a high cholesterol reading to finally jumpstart me, along with the death of my own mother, just months before.

I think back to how my mom was when I was growing up. I really don't ever remember her looking at herself in the mirror and thinking she wasn't pretty enough or anything like that. My mom rarely, ever, wore makeup. She never dyed her hair, used face cream or anything like that. Of course she also was a single mom, raising 3 girls on her own, so I wonder if she even thought much about doing that.

I truly hope that I am setting a good example for my daughters. I told them that they always need to play a sport. I have two reasons for that, keeping them active, and hopefully that will keep them from having too much "idle time" where they may hang out with people who'd rather do drugs or drink. Now, mind you, I was one of those people, and a lot of my friends were like that too. Not that we ALWAYS did drugs or drink (in fact I rarely touched any drugs, just didn't like what they did to me, but drinking, ahhh, that's another matter entirely). We partied, we went out dancing (HEY, that IS a form of exercising, you know.....), but that's not all we did either. We were concerned with our looks, we were concerned with the "trendy" clothes, we got good grades. We did have a lot of fun. But I don't want my daughters being like that. I'd like them to enjoy playing sports (I did play on the Varsity Volleyball team in my senior year), get good grades, have aspirations, etc.

I want them to be happy with themselves. Not to feel insecure (which, let's face it, all girls do at some point or another) too much. To take care of themselves, feel confident.

My eldest is turning 11 next month and she already wants to wear makeup. She got her hair cut today and it looks totally cute on her. She is definitely worrying about her looks already. I try and think back to when I was her age, so I can try and relate and not be so "oh gosh, those were the OLDEN days". I do let her wear eyeshadow, but if it's caked on too much, she has to wipe some of it off. I try and tell her that, "Hey, I've had over 25 years experience with this stuff, I think I MIGHT know what I'm doing" Not that I'm a makeup expert, by any means, but I know what looks overdone, you know?

Then on Oprah, two celebrities, were asked to write letters to their "younger selves" as to what they could do differently.

So I started thinking about that. What would I write to "younger self" and tell her to do differently?

I think for starters, I would tell myself to stand up straight. Be proud of my boobs. Now, I'm not saying to flaunt them, but to have a good posture. From the time I was in 4th grade and "poking out", a boy teased me about them, and I started slouching. It became a habit quickly and even my grandma could not get me to stop doing it. It wasn't until I was working at Contempo Casuals (remember that store?), and this girl working there, Tatiana, kept poking me in the back, telling me to stand up straight, be proud of myself.

I would tell myself to be happy with myself and my body. Looking back at pictures, I realize, "Damn, I was thin then!". My friend, Susan, would always tell me that I shouldn't wear the baggy pants. I should wear the more flattering clothes. She was right, I shouldn't have worn them. I look at pictures of me with them, and then wearing a mini skirt and yea, you noticed the difference. Most of my friends were all shorter than me, and smaller boned, so of course I felt "bigger".

I would tell myself not to be so insecure with my looks. I always felt I was second fiddle to my friends. I thought they were all better looking than me. (Oh I still think they are all stunning looking to this day, but at least I'm happier with myself). It wasn't until I met my husband, who thought I was the "prettiest", that it really made me be happy with myself. I always thought that they liked me because of the "boobs factor" (Yes, hubby is a boob man, in case you were wondering)

I would tell myself so many other things too. But then again, when I think about it, if I wasn't those things, and been that way, I wouldn't end up with what I have today. And I truly love what I have today.

So, question to you all, what would YOU tell your younger self? What advice would you give to her (or him)?