The Age of 18-ism

First let me start off by saying that I have a very unique relationship with my sister and my cousin. My sister is exactly 10 years younger than me, and my cousin is exactly 20 years younger than me. There's something about that "exactly 10 years apart" between the 3 of us, that makes it a special relationship between the 3 of us (at least for me, that is...)

I look at my sister and the things she goes through, or does, and it so reminds me of when I was THAT age. There are so many things she has done that I've done too, when I was her age. Oh god, don't you just hate saying that, "When I was your age". It sounds so old. Can't se come up with another phrase for that? I'm feeling like I need to get my walker out, or go buy one! Geez, I'm ONLY 38!

So anyway, my cousin is, yes, you guessed it, 18. The era of FINALLY becoming an adult. The age of "Yes, I'm an adult, so I can do whatever I want" "I'm an adult and you can't tell me what to do". Does it stop at 18? Hell no, we have this "I know everything and you are stupid" attitude towards our parents until we are in our mid-20's. It's something we all go through. Whether we admit it or not, voice it to others or not, it happens. And of course we DEFINITELY won't admit it while we're going through it because, hell, that would mean that we DON'T know what we're doing, and that's just not true. Even if we DO know that we don't always know what we're doing, we don't want to admit it. We just want our parents to fix things when we tell them to. We would have to admit that we DO need our moms. We'd have to admit that "Damn, we were acting like a bitch to our moms" Now, maybe some girls don't go through this as severe, which, god I hope so, because I'm NOT looking forward to it when my girls get to be that age.

And really, you DON'T realize what you're doing, and how you're treating them at that age. Because it's just something that happens. It's so normal (at least in my case, and that's all I'm saying...). Just because you've gone through puberty doesn't mean that the hormones aren't still raging out of control. Plus there's that gray area in which your mom still wants you to be that little girl, but wants you to be grown up as well. It's a hard adjustment for all.

I look back now, I and I think, damn, I was so mean to my mom in some of the things I said. (Not that I EVER cussed her out or anything like that, just had this attitude that was like, "Mom, I'm an adult now, I can handle it myself. I'm in this world of things that you aren't and you couldn't possibly know what I'm going through, or understand it)

Of course it wasn't always like that. There were times that I would have really cool conversations with my mom. There was this one time......

My mom and I were sitting in the living room, having a beer and talking one time Yes, I was 18. I actually had a mom who would let me drink with her. No, we weren't white trash, she just remembered when she was that age, and didn't want to be a hypocrite. It was nice, it was civil. She had some things she wanted to tell me, now that I was 18. She told me that twice, before I was conceived, when she was in her early 20's, she had gotten pregnant and her parents had forced her to give the baby up for adoption. She was 22 and 24, I think. This was back in the early 60's. She wasn't part of the hippie movement though. That was SUCH a shock! She said she wanted me to know, in case they ever came to the door looking for her, their "birth mom". She wanted to let me know that she had done drugs in the past. She had even done Angel Dust once. HELLOOO??!!!! Okay, total shocker, never knew my mom did THAT?! She didn't seem the type. See that's the things with us moms. We DID do things in the past. Doesn't mean we do it now, but sometimes even moms screw up, and good ones at that. Then she told me that if I ever wanted to do drugs, to ask my Uncle, and he'd do them with me. Ummmmm.....okay, yea, like THAT was going to happen. "Ummmm, Uncle? I'd like to try some heroin, would you do it with me?" Not that I ever TRIED heroin, NO WAY. Uh-uh. Not going to happen, didn't happen, never going to happen.

Then she started asking me questions.

Was I a virgin?

No mom, I'm not.

Was it with so and so?

No mom, it wasn't.

Have you ever tried drugs?

Yes mom, I tried a couple, but I didn't care for them, and one has such a weird effect on me, that I don't want to do them again. (It WAS an open and honest relationship, but that didn't mean I was going to give out ALL the details, I was 18, after all.....)

Okay, you get the gist of the conversation, now, don't you? When I look back on it now though, it was such an awesome conversation. So open and honest. Sex, drugs and rock 'n roll (okay so we didn't talk about rock 'n roll, but it sounds good, doesn't it?). Did I stop my "attitude" with her? Yea, no. Didn't happen. Not for a few years. But I WISH I knew what I was doing. I WISH I realized what I was doing and could have stopped it. We moms don't deserve that, but we do put up with it, because we remember. We remember what WE did, and we remember that we DO get out of that phase. I remember when my sister was that way to our mom. There were times I wanted to smack her upside the head and tell her to stop it. But I didn't. I remember that I did it. And my mom did too. She mostly just rolled her eyes at the whole thing, and didn't take it to heart. She knew. She knew it was just a phase. She knew she had raised us well. And it was a phase. My sister did get over it.

Now, the cycle is starting again. My cousin. She's 18. But maybe, just maybe, if she knew that her mom does understand, or knew that we "elders" do get it, it might help? That if she's going through something she doesn't quite understand, that some one else, someone in her family does? I can hope.......

18 is SUCH an awesome age, but it's also such a a turmoil age too. Would I want to be 18 again? Uh, yea, no thank you. With age comes wisdom. I don't want to think I know everything, when there is so much that's going to happen. Give me a break. I'm 38. I KNOW everything now! (Yea, that's what I keep telling myself, just keep saying that, maybe it'll be true when I'm 88).......................

Music and Memories

Back to the subject of music and memories......

The other day when I was working out I started thinking about this and about how certain songs bring back such strong feelings, emotions and memories. Yes, the first memory that I had music attached to was Saturday in the Park by Chicago.

But now to more recent ones.....

I was waching VH1's 100 top Teen Stars and Shaun Cassidy came. Man.....I so remember listening to him in 4th grade, and having my cassette player and my case of cassette tapes with me, and listening to him and wanting all his tapes.

Junior High....by FAR the most powerful song I have from that time is Christopher Cross' Sailing. That ALWAYS brings me back to the junior high dances at our school, and me ALWAYS wanting to dance with a boy. But sadly, no boy asked me. ::::::::going back in time:::::::::: I was in 9th grade and it was the last dance of the school year. I had ALWAYS wanted to dance with this boy Mouse (his real name is Mike, Mouse was a nickname), but he never asked me. So I grew some balls, sucked in my breath and headed over to where he was to ask him to dance. Was he going to say no? God, I hope not!! I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to dance. Guess what? He said YES! Oh my god, my heart was beating a mile a minute! I couldn't believe he actually said yes!!! It was the best 4 minutes and 18 seconds of my life (at least in junior high)! After the song was over I thanked him (seeing as he was pulling away after the song was done) and floated back over to my friends. In high school and beyond we would run into each other, and I would definitely consider him a friend. He was always nice to me. I wonder if he ever knew how much of a crush I had on him in junior high? So yes, to this day, when I hear that song, I revert back to that gym in junior high.

High School................damn......WAY too many songs to have one in particular. When I hear Love Cats by The Cure, it makes me think of Stacie when she was going out with this one guy, Tony, I think. When I hear How Soon Is Now by The Smiths, it reminds me of when us girls went to the beach and were listening to that song. When I hear True by Spandau Ballet, it just reminds me of being in 10th grade. Cruel Summer by Bananarama reminds me of the summer of 11th grade. Depeche Mode just reminds me of ALL of high school, especially getting to see them at Irvine Meadows, sitting 2nd row CENTER baby! Madonna's early songs remind me of 10th grade too. SOOOO many good songs in high school!!!

After high school......Here I Go Again by Whitesnake totally reminds me of when Stacie and I went driving around one night.

Married life.......two songs stick out the most for me and my husband. First one....I Love You Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel is our song. One time when it was on, my husband pulled me into the living room where we danced to it. 2nd song....Innagodadavida by Iron Butterfly. Well, let's just say that's a "private song", if you get my drift.

Music has always been such a part of my life, because so many emotions are attached to it (I won't bore you with all the "heartbreak" songs from when a guy dumped me, that's just too damn depressing) Breakstuff by Limp Bizkit is SUCH a great song to listen to when I'm pissed off. Disco music totally makes me feel happy. I like some country music. Love hard rock too, mellow music, pop music and so much more. I can't wait to see what other songs will come in my life to have memories attached to them.

A Letter to My Younger Self

Ahhhhh, had a nice workout today, Oprah was on at the gym, yippee!!!

The topic on Oprah today was about mothers and daughters and how daughters mimic, or feed off their mothers, and what they say, causing them to have low self-esteem. There was this one girl, who was absolutly gorgeous, but thought she was hideous. She got this from feeding off what her mother did to her ownself in the mirror. Her mother look in the mirror and think she was always too fat, or not pretty enough, which caused the daughter to do the same to herself in the mirror.

It's amazing what children "learn" from their mothers.

It took me over 10 years to lose the "baby fat" I accumulated, and then some, from my 2 children. It took a high cholesterol reading to finally jumpstart me, along with the death of my own mother, just months before.

I think back to how my mom was when I was growing up. I really don't ever remember her looking at herself in the mirror and thinking she wasn't pretty enough or anything like that. My mom rarely, ever, wore makeup. She never dyed her hair, used face cream or anything like that. Of course she also was a single mom, raising 3 girls on her own, so I wonder if she even thought much about doing that.

I truly hope that I am setting a good example for my daughters. I told them that they always need to play a sport. I have two reasons for that, keeping them active, and hopefully that will keep them from having too much "idle time" where they may hang out with people who'd rather do drugs or drink. Now, mind you, I was one of those people, and a lot of my friends were like that too. Not that we ALWAYS did drugs or drink (in fact I rarely touched any drugs, just didn't like what they did to me, but drinking, ahhh, that's another matter entirely). We partied, we went out dancing (HEY, that IS a form of exercising, you know.....), but that's not all we did either. We were concerned with our looks, we were concerned with the "trendy" clothes, we got good grades. We did have a lot of fun. But I don't want my daughters being like that. I'd like them to enjoy playing sports (I did play on the Varsity Volleyball team in my senior year), get good grades, have aspirations, etc.

I want them to be happy with themselves. Not to feel insecure (which, let's face it, all girls do at some point or another) too much. To take care of themselves, feel confident.

My eldest is turning 11 next month and she already wants to wear makeup. She got her hair cut today and it looks totally cute on her. She is definitely worrying about her looks already. I try and think back to when I was her age, so I can try and relate and not be so "oh gosh, those were the OLDEN days". I do let her wear eyeshadow, but if it's caked on too much, she has to wipe some of it off. I try and tell her that, "Hey, I've had over 25 years experience with this stuff, I think I MIGHT know what I'm doing" Not that I'm a makeup expert, by any means, but I know what looks overdone, you know?

Then on Oprah, two celebrities, were asked to write letters to their "younger selves" as to what they could do differently.

So I started thinking about that. What would I write to "younger self" and tell her to do differently?

I think for starters, I would tell myself to stand up straight. Be proud of my boobs. Now, I'm not saying to flaunt them, but to have a good posture. From the time I was in 4th grade and "poking out", a boy teased me about them, and I started slouching. It became a habit quickly and even my grandma could not get me to stop doing it. It wasn't until I was working at Contempo Casuals (remember that store?), and this girl working there, Tatiana, kept poking me in the back, telling me to stand up straight, be proud of myself.

I would tell myself to be happy with myself and my body. Looking back at pictures, I realize, "Damn, I was thin then!". My friend, Susan, would always tell me that I shouldn't wear the baggy pants. I should wear the more flattering clothes. She was right, I shouldn't have worn them. I look at pictures of me with them, and then wearing a mini skirt and yea, you noticed the difference. Most of my friends were all shorter than me, and smaller boned, so of course I felt "bigger".

I would tell myself not to be so insecure with my looks. I always felt I was second fiddle to my friends. I thought they were all better looking than me. (Oh I still think they are all stunning looking to this day, but at least I'm happier with myself). It wasn't until I met my husband, who thought I was the "prettiest", that it really made me be happy with myself. I always thought that they liked me because of the "boobs factor" (Yes, hubby is a boob man, in case you were wondering)

I would tell myself so many other things too. But then again, when I think about it, if I wasn't those things, and been that way, I wouldn't end up with what I have today. And I truly love what I have today.

So, question to you all, what would YOU tell your younger self? What advice would you give to her (or him)?

A Legacy of A House

My two sisters, myself, my aunt and my uncle are in the process of selling a house that has been in our family for over 56 years. Yes, 56 years.


Back in 1950, my grandma and grandpa John bought this house:



They moved from South Dakota to California in 1942 with their son (I actually have a letter that my grandma wrote to my grandpa John when he was on his way out here looking for work), and settled into an apartment in Hollywood.

In 1943, my mom was born.

Finally, they were able to have the American Dream and buy their own house in 1950, for $40,000, if I remember right. A 3 bedroom, 1 bath house. (Actually, one of the bedrooms had a door to the other bedroom, which was kind of neat). My mom told me that she was so happy she didn't have to share a room with her brother anymore.

Life was good for a while, but in 1956, my grandpa John died from cancer. As tragic as it was, they had had the good sense enough to have mortgage insurance, and the house was paid off and my grandma, now alone with two kids, did not have to worry about a mortgage payment.

Time went on, and my grandma worked as a secretary part-time to help make ends meet.

A couple of years went by, and she happened to meet her friend's brother. He had two children as well. They fell in love, and one weekend, left a note for their teenage children that they had run off to Mexico to get married. (Did I happen to mention that my grandma eloped with her first husband as well?). This was in 1959.

Now, they went from 2 kids each, to 4 teenagers in one household, two boys and two girls.

In 1960, I guess they realized that they needed to expand the house some, since my grandma was due to give birth to my aunt Lori soon. So they added onto the house:


They had plans drawn up and everything, and added on the addition themselves. (That's my grandpa on the right, and my two uncles on the left, helping him). The bedroom (or den, or sitting room, whatever you want to call it) in the back, was extended out further, and another bathroom was added on. (Which I'm sure was desperately needed with six people, soon to be seven living in the house).

Life went on, the teenagers grew up, moved out, some got married and had kids of their own. Christmas was always a big thing, with the whole family over, celebrating. Parties were even had there frequently. The new add-on (which was officially called "The Den" in the household) was quite big and ready for entertaining. My grandpa built a bar for the den (woohoo, some of the liquor that was back there behind that bar!) as well.

My aunt pretty much grew up as the only child in the house, as my mom (who was the youngest teenager) was 16 when my aunt was born. Of course I was over there a lot (and my sisters too), since we lived in the same town and my mom was over a lot to visit. My aunt was 8 when I was born.

Tragedy struck again, in 1992, when my grandma had a stroke. After some time, she seemed to be getting better, but then took a turn for the worse, and in January of 1993, she passed away. My grandpa was SO lost without her. She was his life for over 33 years. He was never right after that. He passed away in 1996, and was finally with his love again.

When my grandma and grandpa got married, the house still stayed in my grandma's name. I don't know why it did, maybe my grandpa felt that he had no right to it, since she and her first husband had bought it together. But even though it was in my grandma's name, it was THEIR house together. I mean look at the picture above, HE added onto THEIR house. So it being HER house was on paper only.

When my grandma passed away, the ownership of the house was transferred into my mom, my aunt, and my uncle's names. When my grandma had her stroke in 1992, my mom moved back into the house to help take care of my grandpa. After he passed away, she still stayed there. There was talk about selling it and such, but my uncle said that he would never pressure my mom into moving. And I think my mom was in her comfort zone. I don't think she wanted to leave it.

My mom and I had always talked about when she retired, she would move down here and we would buy a house with a guest house for her, or a duplex together. But it always seemed to be "in a couple of years". Well, after about 5 years or so, and my husband getting a big raise, and the housing market starting to start it's extreme ride up the escalator, we told my mom that we couldn't wait any longer, we had to buy a house of our own. But we would buy a house were we could add on an apartment just for her, when she did decide to retire and move down here.

So mom retired. Then she went back to work part-time. It always kept getting put off. Then, in the year 2004, she said that she was finally ready. Next year, the house would be sold, and instead of moving down here with me, she was going to move up to Henderson where my aunt lived and my sister as well. She said that my sister needed her more. (okay a WHOLE other can of worms, I'm not opening just yet).

Tragedy struck again. On December 18th, 2004, my sister called me to tell me that mom had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. She may have had a stroke. I drove up there as quickly as I could (my aunt tried to get me to not drive up there in the state of mind I was in, but I told her that grandma would watch over me and make sure I got up there just fine, and I did). There was no hope. On December 19th, 2004, my mom passed away.

So yet again, more owners were added to the title of the house. This time, my mom's 1/3 ownership went to me and my two sisters.

My sister lived in the house for almost a year and a half taking care of it, because we couldn't sell it yet, because we had to go through probate. Now, just recently, probate is finished, and the house is on the market.

Back on the real estate market after not being on it for 56 years. Here's a picture of the house that was taken within the last year:

Since it was first owned in our family in 1950, few things have changed. The addition was added on, the dining room on the right was extended a little bit (it used to be a bay window-type wall in the front), the entryway into the dining room was widened so that it could be more open. Hardwood floors in the living room and dining room were covered up with carpet (I'd love to see what they look like now though). The "service porch" (as it was called) off the kitchen was remodeled to include a pantry and have room for a dryer. But other than those things, nothing REALLY major has been done to it. There is a door in the "service porch" for the milkman to take out the milk bottles and put a new one in. (I kid you NOT, it's still there!!)

Soon, a new owner will own this house. A house filled with SO many memories will just be that for us soon, memories.......and so many good ones at that..........

Working out when you can't watch Oprah

Okay, first of all let me start by saying that going to the gym and working out on the first day of your period SUCKS! It makes you feel like you've never worked out before! At least it did for me today.....

It was one of those days where I just wanted to stop the machine, get the hell out of there, go home and lay in bed.

But I didn't.......yes, I was a good girl and finished my workout, although I was certainly counting down the minutes I had left, or how many I had done.......

Into minute 10.....Damn, do I really want to do this today? Oh, my stomach's not feeling so hot, maybe I should stop.....

No Doubt comes on the mp3 player.....Okay, I'll get through this song and then see what happens...

A few more songs come on, I'm busy thinking about my sister, Heidi, who recently called, and thinking about the house that we're selling...Wow, we actually got an offer on the house, but it's a sucky offer. Hopefully they'll take our counterbid, either that or someone else will come along soon and make a better offer.

Now I'm 1/2 way through the workout...Wow, I made it 1/2 way and I'm still breathing okay, I guess it's not THAT bad, let's see what it's like at 30 minutes, I've already done 2 miles...

Okay, now a few sucky songs (I guess I can't call them sucky, after all I DID put them on my mp3 player, didn't I?), or should I rephrase that, some songs come on that just don't fit the "mood" for exercising.

::::::::::::off track for a second:::::::::::::::::

A friend of mine was saying how certain foods can evoke memories of things, or people. Well, I think that's DEFINITELY true of songs as well. So many different memories come to mind when so many different songs come on. Whenever I hear "Saturday In the Park" by Chicago, it brings me back to hearing that at a Motocross event that my mom took me to, when I was MAYBE 5 years old. That is the oldest memory I have regarding a song. There are way too many more to even start writing about

:::::::::::::okay, back to the gym::::::::::::::::

Which makes me think....Um, why don't I just change the setting to just play a band that I like a lot of songs to work out to? Damn, I don't want to do that now, let's just see what comes next. Linkin Park, okay, cool, that's a good song to keep going on this machine...

You know, it's amazing the things that just go through your mind, when you're trying to finish your workout, and there's nothing on the TV's there, that you want to watch....Damn, if I was able to get here an hour earlier, I could have been watching Oprah. Now that's always riveting and keeps my mind of working out. It makes the time go by faster.

36 minutes into the workout....Woohoo, I'm getting there! I can finish this! What's next coming on? Danzig? Uh, no, heard that "Mother" song way too many times, I'm bored with it. Next! Usher....Okay, I can deal with this one.

I can't even remember what the last songs that were on that I was listening to, I just remember that I got down to the "cool down" period.....Yea! Only FIVE more minutes left!

I finally finish, thank goodness, and get off the darn machine (I shouldn't call it that, I really DO like working out on it most of the time), and go clean it off, like a good workout person does, grab my stuff and head down the stairs. I go down the first stair and what happens? My stupid ass left knee starts giving out....WHAT??!! Okay, shit, come on body, I just gave you a good workout, working out the cardio for 50 minutes and my knee doesn't want to cooperate? Damn.....

So I do a sort of hop quickly on that leg when I use it down the stairs and make it look like I'm just trying to get down quicker. Once I'm on level ground, it starts working properly again. Guess my knee just didn't like the stairs today....

To my car I go, and off to home I go to shower and eat dinner with my family. See you next week YMCA!

Quick with the Wit

My youngest always seems to ask the question of all questions. She constantly asks about things. Now, my oldest did too, but either she let me think about it for a minute, or the questions were easy to answer. Not my youngest......

This morning.......

"Mama, why are is the fish smiling at me?"

"Because he's happy to see you!"

"Why is he happy to see me?"

"Because he loves you!"

Okay, that wasn't so hard. But these questions just come out of the blue and she wants an answer ASAP! If I don't answer within the first 5, or 2 seconds, she's asking you again, and again, and again.....

So here is when I was quick with my wit......

About a year and a half ago ( I think), she was watching the signal lights on the street. So she asked what the Red, Yellow and Green lights mean. No problem! Those were easy to answer!! Then she started coming up with other colors. Here's where I had to get creative.......

"What does a pink light mean?"

"Be a Princess"

"What does a blue light mean?"

"Be Happy"

"What does an orange light mean?"

"Be a clown"

"What does a purple light mean?"

"Go crazy!"

What does a brown light mean?"

............

...............

..............

(okay, trying to come up with something neat, but, alas, the first thing that comes to my mind............)

...........................

..............................

......................"Go poop"

Yea, and I'll bet you'll never guess which light makes her laugh the most when she asks what that light means..............

Yea, the "go poop" brown light.....

So I'm not ALWAYS quick with the wit, but at least I'm creative sometimes....................

My Baby Turns 4 Today!!!

Wow, I just can't believe my baby is turning 4 today! She certainly has been waiting for it long enough! A while back she wanted to know whose birthday comes next before her birthday. So I had to go down the list of family members to get to her birthday. For months she knew that after it was Uncle Dan's birthday, it would be her birthday. And that when she turns 4, she gets to be in a booster seat in the car. No more car seat! Wow.........that is going to be so eerie, no car seat! She'll now get to use the regular seatbelt with her booster seat. Oh, speaking of booster seats, we got a COOL one! We were going to get her a "girlie" one, but the one they had in Target was SOOOOOOOOOOO pink it was pukey! (And I LOVE pink!). So this one is upgraded, dark brown & black, more cushey and even has lights on the headrest part in case she needed light to read or do activities! Damn!!!

Awwww, she just woke up and I hugged her and said, "Happy Birthday! You are FOUR years old today!"

"I'm FOUR years old today?!" (Holding up four fingers)

"Yes you are!"

"YEAAAA!!!!"

What a much better day today is than the day she was born. It was exciting, but yet scary too.

See, I was only 34 weeks along when she was born.

A few days prior, I took a non-stress test for my pregnancy. They noticed my blood pressure was high (I have been diagnosed with high blood pressure for about 9 years now) and had me go up to labor & delivery to get checked out. Well, after examining me, they noticed I was about 2-3 centimeters dialated! They said I had been having some contractions, but I never noticed them. (Which is odd, since I do feel just about everything in my body!)

So I got put on steroids to help further develop my baby. I had to come back every 12 hours to get a shot. In the meantime, my oldest daughter was at gymnastics and they wouldn't let me leave the hospital just yet to get her. So I called a dear friend of mine to go get her for me.

After they finally released me, I went to get my oldest daughter and we went home. I was able to get a hold of my husband too (yea, he wasn't here, he was up in Seattle on a port visit with the ship he was connected to), and he had me call his parents to come down just in case I needed them.

Next day....we went to the hospital around midnight to get my next shot, then came home. I actually went to work that day too, because I had to do payroll. While there though, I didn't feel good AT ALL! So my boss drove me home and my in-laws took me back to the hospital (it was time for the next steroid shot anyway). By that time labor seemed to progress a little more, my blood sugars were way up (oh yea, did I mention I had gestational diabetes as well?!), my blood pressure was up, etc. So they put me on more medicine, and stopped my labor.

Next day.....August 3, 2002..........doctors wake me up EARLY in the morning. My body is not doing well, and I am far enough along that they think my baby has a REALLY good chance being born early...34 weeks along.....it took me FIVE HOURS to get a hold of my husband.....FINALLY!..... and he got permission to come home and then tried to get a flight home.

In the meantime, I called my dear friend, Michelle, and asked her if she wanted to come help me deliver this baby! She was SOOOO excited to be there and witness it! My in-laws still had my eldest, but my mother-in-law wasn't doing too well with all the excitement and stress going on, so she called my mom and asked her to come down to help with Cheyenne. So my mom and my aunt came down. And I'm so glad that they did, my mom was able to see a grandaughter right after she was born.

My husband made it to the hospital just as I was getting ready to push my daughter out. Now this was an experience for us as well, as my oldest daughter has to be born via c-section. It was the most amazing thing, giving birth to my youngest. I cried, I was so happy.

She did end up having some problems though. Her lungs weren't fully developed so she was on Surfactin (sp?) for a few days to get her lungs matured, one of her lungs did collapse and she had to have a chest tube inserted, jaundice, multiple tests, BUT she was only in NICU for a week. But that week was the longest week of my life.

Now?! She's so incredibly healthy! She's full of life & vigor. She makes me crazy sometimes, but makes me laugh just as much. She's a spitfire, that's for sure. And she's mine. And she's FOUR years old today! (I always remember that Bill Cosby performance when he talks about the boy, Jeffrey, who was on a plane with him one time and said over and over, "I'm four years old. I'm four years old." ) :D

Listening to him read and sing.....

I am sitting here on the computer and off in the living room, I hear my husband reading a story to my youngest, on the eve of her 4th birthday. It's a Blue's Clues book with a button that plays music that you sing rhymes too. Now mind you, he reads the books fabulously to her, but his singing? Well, let's just say it's not in tune with the music. Either he ends before the song is done or the music is done before he is.

But you know what? My daughter could CARE one bit! All she cares is that Daddy was reading a book to her. And that is just the sweetest thing ever.

I just had to share.........................

The Elusive Camping Trip

Ahhhh, now I have time I can sit down and write about our camping trip. Let me just start off by saying that I do NOT care for camping at all! I don't like the bugs, I don't like sleeping in a tent, I don't like having to walk 1/2 mile to the bathrooms. I want a nice bed (even in an RV would be okay), I want a toilet nearby, I want a shower, I want a stove, I want electricty. I want the comforts of home. Sure, I like sitting around a campfire, talking, laughing and such, eatins S'mores, but that's about it. I went up there for two reasons, to scatter my mom's ashes and to see my family. And I'll put up with just about anything to see my family. Not anything, but just about.....

Okay, back to the story......

We left our house about 3:30 a.m. for our 6 - 6 1/2 hour trek up to Mammoth Mountain. Ugh...... I tried to sleep on the way, but I just couldn't. Oh well, I'll sleep later. I called my youngest sister about 6 a.m., once we got on the 395 to ask her where she was. Lone Pine! Damn!!! She was at least 2 hours ahead of me, and she left about the same time I did! Well, she is closer. She was so excited to get up there!

First day of camping is always the set up. Hubby was busy setting up the tent, while I was busy carrying EVERYTHING ELSE in the campsite! Hmmm....makes me wonder if he was "taking his time" setting up that tent.........

I was SOOOOOOO fucking tired that day!! I think I took a nap, I can't remember. Did I? Or did I take one the next day, or did I take one each day? Damn, I was so tired those days, I really can't remember!

Now we had all tried to coordinate who was bringing things, that way we would have everything when we all got up there. I would say that for the most part, we did have everything. Of course everyone made fun of me, because if they didn't have it, it was like "Oh, I'm sure Tina has it!" My eldest thought they were being a little mean when they were saying that, but they really weren't, I told her. They all just know that I wanted to come prepared. I brought a full sized broom for Pete's sake to sweep out my tent! I brought a standing shower tent so I could take a shower. I brought enough baby wipes to clean everyone off for a month. Enough paper plates for everyone. What can I say? Gotta love COSTCO!! And if they were being mean, well, you know what? Don't care! Bite me! I love my family!!! :D

Hubby set up the horseshoes that he brought, and the men DEFINITELY loved that! He took my eldest fishing with him, he got to relax some, read a book, watched a video on his video Ipod, and so on......

My eldest wasn't so keen on the camping when she first got there, but grew to like it after a couple of days, especially spending time with her cousin and our family.

My youngest??? Well, that's a different story alltogether! Let me first start off by saying that she is one that likes routine. She wants to know what we're doing days in advance, and will keep asking sometimes throughout the day. When her routine doesn't go as planned and there's not enough advance warning with it all, she can break down. And now while I don't think she is autistic, I do think she may have some autistic tendencies sometimes. I need to research that more though. Now, she can have a problem with dogs. That's not an autistic tendency, it's just a little girl not liking some dogs. Back at Easter, when we were up at my aunt's house, she was terrified of their german shepard, Burbank. She would be outside, and Burbank would be inside looking out the back door and she would freak out and start crying because Burbank was looking at her. Yikes! I did sit down with her and we sat next to Burbank for a long time and she got used to him, and now she just loves him! I think the size of Burbank scared her the most, because Burbank does NOT jump on people. He's a very mellow dog. Okay, back to camping.........

My aunt brought Burbank, my sister brought her dalmation, Lucky (which she liked right away), and then my youngest sister brought her dog, Clyde. Clyde is part Rhodesian Ridgeback, has some pit bull in him (but is a VERY NICE dog), and something else. Well, I guess Clyde was excited to see people, and came too eagerly to see my youngest and scared the living shit out of her. That was it. She wanted him no where NEAR her. Now, my sister couldn't keep her dog tied up the WHOLE time, and let's face it, my youngest needed to get to be more comfortable with Clyde. Not that I wanted to FORCE Clyde upon her.... but she did give Clyde a hug when we left, but of course someone was holding Clyde and daddy was holding her.........

The second night up there, was probably the best night I had sleeping up there. Too tired to freak out about mice and bears, got through the first night of no mice or bears, more used to sleeping in the tent. I did have a nap that second day were were up there too, now that I think about it, because my youngest sister saw me sleeping in the tent, pulled my other sister over to me and they both saw that I was sleeping the way mom slept when she took naps up there. Awwwwwww........... :)

Forward to the third day. Okay, now I'm in the groove, getting more used to it, even decided on not taking a shower in our shower stall. (It actually was a PAIN IN THE ASS to do that, the shower bag we had took up the majority of the top part of the tent stall, and to get the water to flow freely out of the hose on you (or should I say the TOP 1/2 of you), you had to squat down really low. Yea, nice picture, huh? Oh, and also the shower bag had sprung a leak so it was taped up with duct tape. Hey, at least we gave it a shot for the first two days!

So anyway, I just wiped myself down with baby wipes (lord know I brought enough of them!), used my sister's squirt bottle (and what a cute one it was too! She always has the cutest little gadgets. Even the spatula she brought was cute. I knew it was hers right off the bat!) to wet down my hair, and put my hair up again.

We all went up the mountain to sight see. My, what beautiful lakes and scenery they had up there! Here are a couple of pictures:


We went hiking down to the waterfall:



And hiked back up. That was a nice workout there though!

Afterwards, hubby and I took our girls, along with our two nieces to lunch. We thought we'd treat our nieces, since we don't see them that often.

Then we made our way back to the campsite. Hung around for a little bit, and my aunt and I drive back into town to get dinner. We decided to have hot dogs. Found hot dogs alright, but when we went to go get the buns, there were none! Yikes! My aunt was like, "Well, we'll just have to use bread." I wasn't giving up yet. I asked one of the clerks to look in the back to see if they had any buns, and after a short while, and him talking with a couple of people, magically he came out with enough buns for us! Yea! I KNEW my youngest would not be eating a hot dog on a piece of bread! So we made our way back to the campsite.

That's when things started going downhill. Shortly thereafter, it started raining. At first we thought, no big deal, we've been dealing with this every day since we've been here. It rains a little bit, then it clears up. Did that happen in this case? Of course not! It decided to keep on raining! UGH! I don't care for rain as it is, and I certainly don't care for it when I can't get under some decent shelter to stay away from it, AND be able to go to the bathroom without being in the rain! (As you can tell, I have bathroom issues and want the convenience of them!) (And yes, I even brought an umbrella!) So we made dinner in the rain (thank goodness we had two tarps to cover the picnic tables, for the most part), we were all wet though. I was just miserable by then. I wanted to go home right then and there! Of course I didn't. And, of course right after I went to bed (very early, I might add), it stopped raining! Go figure.........

Now we're on the last day of us being there (because I was going home THAT day - Monday - and I wasn't staying another night longer and have that possibility of more rain again!) Slept crappy that night too, but I did get to sleep in even more, thanks to my youngest child sleeping in as well! Hubby and I slowly packed up everything throughout the day, since we didn't leave until the afternoon. We left our tent for my sister and her family, since her tent leaked and they all had to sleep in the car the rainy night! :( We also ended up giving them the tent too because, as my husband put it to me, "Okay, Tina, now really, when is the next time YOU are going to go camping, and in a tent?!" Yes, he was right. It would be a long time, if ever, before I would go camping in a tent again. Give me an RV, a cabin, or even better yet, a HOTEL, anyday! LOL!!

We left our stove there too for them to use. My youngest sister will just bring it down next time she comes down. Oh! I forgot about the stove fiasco!!! Okay, 2nd morning we're there....I was using one of the stoves (we brought one and my youngest sister had brought my mom's) for something, and I needed to use the other stove, my mom's, which hadn't been used in a few years. Well, no one had used it yet, so we hooked up a propane to it and started using it. Well, part of it caught on fire a little bit. No big deal, we thought at first, it was just burning something off. Well, noooooooooo, that wasn't the case. We turned it off, and it was still on fire! AAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! My husband grabbed it, threw it out in the open and yelled to everyone that it was going to explode! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, after a minute, it didn't so we started grabbing the dishpans and filling them up with water to douse the damn thing! Finally got it put out, and thank god it didn't blow up! Shit.......................................

Okay, back to the last day.........we then scattered my mom's ashes (see post below).........and then made our way back home, but not before stopping at the local t-shirt place to get our Mammoth sweatshirts. (Because you know you HAVE to get those while you're up there!) We were going to get the pull-over kind, because that's, you know, the "ones to have", but then we saw they had zip up ones and we all really liked those much better because we're more of a zip-up kind of family. (Yea, and a bunch of geeks to boot!)

Got home around 11 p.m., brought our stuff in the house and then I went to bed.

So there you have it. My, probably-last-one-I'll-ever-have-in-a-tent-without-electricity-a-bathroom-VERY-close-by, camping trip.

Ahhh......back to the real world...............................showers, a bed, a refrigerator, air conditioning, a bathroom in the same house I'm in, and most of all ELECTRICITY, E-LEC-TRI-CITY, ELECTRICITY................ :D Yea, I know, I'm a wimp. Bite Me.

Mom's Ashes

I will write more about our elusive camping trip later, but as scattering Mom's ashes was the main reason for our camping trip, it deserves it's own title and story.

The last day we were camping, was the day we scattered my mom's ashes. It was her wish that her ashes be scattered up at Sherwin Creek where she always went camping when we were kids, and then later on with my sisters and my aunt and cousins. I never went camping up there again after Junior High, as I didn't care for it.

It was about 3 p.m. or so, and everyone was at the campsite together. No one offered to start, so I went ahead and started. I decided to start scattering her ashes at the old campsite, where we used to camp when I was little. On our way to the campsite, my eldest started crying, along with my youngest sister. I comforted my eldest as we walked over there. Once we got there, I decided to scatter her ashes in a circle of some sorts, around the campsite. I went around the fire pit, asking questions about the campsite as we went along.

I would say that about 1/2 way around the campsite, tears started forming in my eyes and I started crying, realizing the full enormity of what we were doing. We had said goodbye to Mom in the hospital room, after her body stopped beating, and said goodbye at the memorial service, but it all came back to us again, as we were scattering her ashes, saying goodbye yet again, and reliving the day she passed away. Even though I know mom has been gone for a year and a half now, it just all came back to me, that my mom died. My mom is gone. I can't call her anymore. I can't hear her laughing at my sarcasm or silly jokes. I can't hear her call me "honeybabe" when I need it. I feel like an orphan. She can't watch my children grow up. My youngest will never REALLY know her. She won't be around to see my youngest and her antics and call her an awnry stinker. The hurt of being without her all came back.

After scattering some of her ashes at the old campsite, we came back to our campsite to continue scattering her ashes. We scattered some in the creek first. I started the line of ashes where the bridge over the creek ended, and continued in circles around the two campsites we were at. At one point when I was scattering them around the fire pit where she used to hang out with my sisters, aunt and cousins, I broke down completely and had to stop to compose myself and stop crying so hard. Both my sisters took turns scattering the ashes with me. While I was scattering I took it all in and watched everyone grieving and crying again. My aunt's boyfriend was embracing my aunt, my sister was with her husband and kids, my husband was helping my eldest and holding onto our youngest, my yougest sister was embracing her boyfriend, my cousins were grieving and even one of my cousin's friend, who came camping with us, was crying and she had never even met Mom.

After we had finished at the campsite, we went back to the creek to scatter the remainder of her ashes. My husband had suggested that we scatter the majority of them in the creek, that way they would dissolve, but not completely, as when they went to the lakes below, they would evaporate up into the air, making clouds and rain over Mammoth, so she would always be there. Everyone agreed that it would be a nice thing to do.

At the creek everyone took a turn scattering her ashes. My aunt (her sister), my two sisters, my two cousins (who always called her Auntie, even in their teenage years), and two of her grandchildren, my eldest and my sister's eldest. At one point the two eldest grandchildren were hugging each other to comfort each other. One of my cousins asked if she could keep some of Mom's ashes, and my two sisters and I agreed that it was okay for her to do that. I know my mom would have liked that as well. Plus me and my two sisters each have a small urn with a small portion of her ashes in it, that has a picture frame in front so we can put a picture of mom in the frame.

Once we were all done and I put the small portion left back in the urn to give to my cousin, my youngest sister took a can of Bud Light (my mom ALWAYS drank that) and poured it into the creek so that she could have a beer with her as well. I thought that was SOO incredibly neat to do!

Even though it's been a year and a half now since Mom died, going through the ceremony we went through has brought back so many emotions and sadness. I know the pain and sadness will lessen as time goes on though.........

Some Things Change, Some Things Stay The Same......

I was taking my two girls, along with the eldest's friend to daycamp this morning. My eldest's friend started talking about "The Ghost of Bloody Mary". Oh my goodness, I TOTALLY remember about that when I was their age! Talking about how if you closed your eyes really tight, spun around 13 times and said something about believing in the ghost of Bloody Mary, you would see her in the bathroom mirror. LOL!!!

Oh, and then she was talking about how if you had a friend lie down and then you push down on her and then you all can lift her up with just your fingers and she would levitate. I SOOOOOO remember doing that between 4th & 6th grade!

I just sat in the front seat driving the car and grinning, because I just find is SOOO fascinating how some "legends" just keep repeating themselves, and they seem to be around the same ages for each generation.

There's new technology out there, so many things out there that weren't created when I was a pre-teen, yet kids are still fascinated by "The Ghost of Bloody Mary" and levitating your friends at a sleepover.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Ahhh.....what a weekend!!!

The Good...........Got a message from my attorney telling me that the court approved our request to end probate and distribute funds. YEA!!! Which is a good thing too, because we put my mom's house on the market on Friday as well!

The Bad.........Actually, it's sad, I think, my 16 year old cousin got married on Saturday. :( And no, she's not pregnant. Her boyfriend is being stationed overseas and they think that by getting married, she'll be allowed to go over there with him. Maybe not now, but maybe later. Well.....his orders are for "UNACCOMPANIED", which means NO dependents are allowed to go over. Has there ever been times when "unaccompanied" change to "accompanied" orders? Yea, sure, but I really, really doubt that is the case here. He is supposed to be going to Iraq after a short stint in Germany. I don't like that he urged her into wanting to do this as well, when I had talked to her a week prior and she said she was so unsure she wanted to do this. I think that if he really, really loved her and wanted what's best for her, he would WANT her to have the wedding with all her family and friends around. Heck, weddings ARE for the bride mostly. It upsets me that they didn't sit down more and really think about this. Take time, say a year or so, at least even wait until she's 18 to get married. She may think that I'm mad or upset with her, but I'm not really. I don't think that going into a marriage where he says, "Hey, if it doesn't work out, you can always divorce me" is a good thing. That's NOT what a marriage is all about. She is SOOOO young, although, granted she is definitely mature for her age, but she still is so young. She has never lived out on her own, she barely graduated high school, she hasn't experienced so much that there it to experience out there. Sigh.............................

The Ugly....................Well, I think that was expressed above. Really, no one was happy she got married, except for her and her now "husband". And that is truly sad. When people are crying at your wedding, not because they're happy for you, but because they're sad for you, how can that be a good thing? What's done is done now though. I guess we'll just have to see what transpires with this, you know? Let's just hope that the camping trip doesn't get ugly.

Military Life.........When you marry a military person, you basically marry the military. In his order of importance, the military comes first, and you are second. He is helping to defend our country and he needs to focus on that, and as a military wife, you have to be able to accept that. Now, if my husband got orders away from here (accompanied, of course, since he had a wife and two children, and the military knows that, and he's not trying to "sneak" a marriage in, when it would be totally denied by the military, had my cousin's "husband" done it the proper way), I would definitely go with him, but he also knows that I LOVE living here and he will do whatever he can, take whatever orders he can, to stay here. Marriage is a give and take thing, even if you're not in the military, and if you constantly give, and don't get to take, that's just NOT good. Yes, I put up with a lot, with the military, having my husband gone for months at a time, but it's something I accepted when we got married. Do I like it? Of course not, I want him home with us, but I know that this is what he has to do. I'm extremely proud of him and his accomplishments. But he also gave me my dreams come true too. All I ever wanted was a husband, kids and a house. And he was able to give them to me. Of course I helped in that too. But he also knows that I want things, I want to be able to do things, and he wants me to have those things. It's a give and take thing, Ying and Yang. We balance each other out.

We had both been on our own before we got married. We had gone through our "partying and wild phase" (starting in high school), and so by the time we did get married, we were ready.

You Say One Thing and then it Bites You In The Butt!

I was emailing with some of my friends today talking about how when you have more than one kid, they can play together, and then what happens? I hear crying and yelling not an hour later. Geesh! C'mon kids, cut me some slack!

Now my two are not that close in age, in fact they are 7 years apart. So yea, I can totally understand how it can be hard to "play together" at times. But when my eldest has friends over, my youngest wants to be involved SOOOOOOO much! So I have told my oldest that she does need to include her little sister. Even if she just gives her some small menial thing to do with them. Most of the time that works okay. But there are plenty of times when it doesn't work as well. My youngest LOVES routine. She always wants to know what exactly we're doing the next day. She has an amazing memory for being so young! She also has a scream that will rattle your bones too. And a whine that will get under your skin and make you give in just to shut her up. She's what you call a "high spirited" child. Now, later on in life, it will be a good thing, she will be (hopefully) an independent thinker, not resort to peer pressure, etc. But right now? Yikes....... She's a handful alright. But that's only a small part of her personality. And when she's not like this she's the most charming person in the world! She's got a smile to make you melt. A grin to make you laugh, and she's so intelligent too!

I know my eldest would love to have time here with just her and her friends. And soon my youngest can have friends and playdates over. She does have one friend that I could call her mom to see if they can play together. Maybe we can do that this summer......... Hopefully we can find a better balance where she has to include her sister, but also have time with just her and her friends too.

Kids.............it's a constant work in progress!!!

Ahhhh.....this is going to be a long day.

30 hours of no kids.....

First let me say, I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my girls! They are SOOOO important to me and a main part of my life. But hey, EVERYONE needs a break now and then.

Friday I went up to Burbank to see my sister and have a garage sale with her, to get rid of the remaining things of my mom's that none of us wanted. I was so torn going up there. On the one hand, I was looking forward to being without children for a while, but on the other hand, I did NOT want to do this garage sale. It's almost like one of the final steps of saying goodbye to my mom. Plus we have done so much work trying to get through probate and such, and we are just tired of it all. We want it to be done.

Once I got on the road though, I was fine. It didn't matter that I was stuck in MAJOR traffic, I had the music blaring, and I didn't have to turn it down to listen to what my children wanted to say to me. I was free for a while! :)

Once I got up there, my sister and I had the daunting task of going through each room and clearing it out (we had gone through so much beforehand, thank goodness, so it wasn't THAT much, but it was enough). We both confessed to each other that we did NOT want to do this garage sale, but we knew it had to be done. My father-in-law came over too, to help out and my sister's boyfriend was there too to help us get the big things out. My cousin came down from Vegas too, to see the house one last time. She was able to go through things and take things she wanted, which was good.

We got pretty much everything priced, said goodbye until the next day.

Fast forward to the next morning. The garage sale started at 8 a.m., but we got there at 7:00 a.m., to start putting things out. Of course there were people already waiting to check things out, but they had to wait until we got everything else out of the house.

I must say, that even though we were not looking forward to doing this, we did have a good time doing it. We made it enjoyable. We made jokes about things, we talked about things that were mom's to people who bought them. There was a picture of a tree at sunset that a lady bought and when I told her it was one of my mom's favorite's, she asked me what mom's name was and said that she owns a theatre on Magnolia and that she was going to name the picture "Janet's Tree" and that anyone who walked in there, would see the sign. That made me and my sister get choked up with emotion that was so sweet! Then there was another picture a friend of my mom's had drawn for her. It was a picture of four animated girls in a bathtub that said,

There's too many kids in the tub
There's too many elbows to scrub
I just washed the behind
Of one that's not mine
There's too many kids in the tub.

I told the person about the story behind it, how the four girls in the tub represented me, my two sisters and my baby cousin (whom my mom watched for my aunt at nights, since my aunt worked nights at the post office)

It was SO nice being able to tell people the stories behind the things that people bought! Some people asked about the house, if we were selling it too, and so I was able to tell the story about the house too. About how my grandma bought it in 1950 with my grandpa John. After my Grandpa John passed away in 1957, the house was paid off, thanks to the good sense they had to buy mortgage insurance in case something happened to one of them. I told them how it has been in our family for 56 years, how my grandparents paid $40,000 for it, and so on.

So while I didn't want to go up there at first, I am SO glad I did. It was nice to be able to tell stories about my grandparents, and my mom and be able to smile about the things I was saying. I do hope that the people who were listening knew that everything I said was coming from the heart.

Oh, we did have one :::::::::::::::shudder::::::::::::::::: moment! There was a TV stand we were selling (and by the way it never ended up getting sold) and one of the shelves was flipped down at an angle. Well, this one woman was looking at it and she went to flip up the shelf and screamed and dropped it again. I saw it happen and I was curious as to why she did that, because she didn't say what she saw. So I flipped it up and inside ::::::::::::::::shudder::::::::::::::::::, was a LIVE......LIVING........... NOSE TWITCHING.........BEADY-EYED MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

Yea, you can better believe that I screamed too!!!! I was in the driveway in the back and my sister was up in the front yard of the house and SHE heard me scream! I went walking very fast up to the front of the house yelling, "JOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!!!" No way was I lifting that thing back up to let it out!!!! But my Father-In-Law, bless his soul, lifted the shelf up and let the little critter go. :::::::::::::::::::::::Shudder::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: YUCK!!!!

Oh, and there were these people who were looking at a OUIJA board game that my other sister had and for some reason we never got rid of it. I joked with them, that we'd pay them $.50 to take it instead of them paying us to have it. I joked that we keep trying to get rid of it, but it just keeps coming back! We've had five people buy it, but somehow it keeps coming back (ALL joking of course, it just never got tossed) My mom was not a COMPLETE packrat, but it did take her a LONG time to get rid of things.

I'll tell you one thing though, it sure makes me want to go through all my stuff and purge even more! I have to keep reminding myself to do that every year, even when I get old. I don't want to have to have my children go through all the stuff that we had to go through.

Of course the ride home was horrendous though. It took me FOUR HOURS to get home, when it normally takes TWO! It took me TWO hours to go SIXTY miles. EEEK!!! That's how bad the freeways were on the way home.

I did come home with a few things though. The high chair that had been in my family since my Uncle Dan, 64 years ago. Every child and grandchild has sat in that chair and I couldn't let it leave the family. Hubby's parents gave us their china cabinet, some magnets that were on my mom's refrigerator and some papers.

So even though I didn't want to go, I did, and I'm glad I did. It was a VERY nice break from my children.

A Day At The Beach

We had such a good time at the beach today! I took my girls and my friend and her daughter accompanied us. We didn't get there until noon or so, but that was okay. The older girls LOVED, LOVED going in the ocean, riding the waves on their boogy boards! My little one was a little timid, to say the least, about going in the water at first (which is fine by me, I love sitting on the beach in my beach chair soaking up the sun -- with TONS of sunscreen of course though), but she soon overcame her inhibitions on it. She held my hand the majority of the time, which is still, fine by me! Near the end of our day my friend and I were able to sit in our beach chairs and the older girls took my wee one out in the water. Of course, them being older, wanted to go in deeper, and sort of forgot about the wee one. Well, she wanted to go in with them, so she started going out a little further slowly. I had to get up and usher her back close to the shore, and "remind" the older ones that they needed to stay close to the shore with her.

We ate lunch, the girls played in the sand for a little while, and my friend and I enjoyed watching the lifeguards surf on their breaks (at least I would HOPE they were on a break!).

Oh, and we also enjoyed the aircraft coming in every so often. We were on a military beach, which, I actually LOVE!! Compared to the rest of the beaches around here, there are VERY minimal amount of people on the beach. I can see my children VERY easily, I'm not freaking out looking for them every second, it's quite relaxing! My friend loved it too. We can't wait to go back again! Of course everytime a helicopter flies overhead, I think I'm in an episode of "China Beach". Man I loved that show! I will definitely be getting THAT when it comes out on DVD!

I love my girls SO incredibly much!!!! Even when they can get on my everlasting nerve, I still am SOOOOO grateful for them!!! I love having days like these.......

Summer Vacation is in Full Swing....

It has now been over a week since my eldest got out of school and is on summer vacation. Geez, can they still call it that now? You know, I know about all this "politically correct" bullshit, but you know, when I was growing up, it was Christmas Vacation, now it's "Winter Break". It was Easter Vacation, now it's "Spring Break" At least there was never any holiday in the Summer Vacation title, so at least it's still called that........

I can tell my eldest is getting bored. She's getting snappy more and more lately. Now, she'll be 11 later this year, so the hormones are starting to come in full swing. She can't wait to be able to do things. She has wanted to shave her legs ALL of 5th grade. I told her that after 5th grade is finished, she can start in the summer, so that way she can get good practice and won't start 6th grade with all those nicks and cuts on her legs that we all did growing up. Of course now they have shaving gels and razors that have "moisture strips" in them to help protect our legs. Hello!!!!????? Why did they not think of that when WE were growing up? I'm sure women have been shaving their legs for a long time before I started, back in the late 70's, you know? So the DAY she got out of school, she went in the bathroom and shaved her legs. Quite a bit of hair to get off there, you know.... Now she's going to have to deal with stubble for the rest of her life.....such is life.....

The girl has more bras now than I did growing up! And of course she likes them to be "padded" a little bit too. Gosh, did we have padded bras growing up or did we just stuff? LOL!! I never stuffed, didn't have to. Some people might say, "Well, LUCKY you!", but I never saw it that way. Growing up I didn't want them to be as big as they were (C cup). I wanted to be able to wear the cute strapless tops or string tank tops or halter tops. Noooooooo.....I had to wear something to support the boobs!

I've already had "the talk" with my eldest. I don't just have ONE talk, I talk about things every now and then. I want her to know that she can come to me about ANYTHING. I want her to know that I know a lot of things that she may not think I know about, but I've either done it, seen it, know someone who has done it, or heard about it.

This world is a scary place nowadays! I think back to when I was young. I had no problem walking to 7-11 by myself. Walking down the street to my friends, not a big deal! A couple of times in high school, my friend, Stacie and I would walk to our friend, Vicki's house, and I think even one time we walked all the way up to Julie's house. Helloooooo!!!??? Yea, can't do THAT anymore! And you know, I don't think that there are really any more perverts or people who want to do bad things to children than there were back then, but I think because we are so aware about it now, people are so much more cautious about it. But you know, you'd think that because there is SOOOO much more awareness about it, that it wouldn't happen as much, but these sickos keep doing it. It's so sad...............

Ahhhh......summer vacations..........I did enjoy them though....................wish I could have one again, just for a little while...............................enough of my ramblings for now..............................

:::::::::Sucking Up?:::::::::::::: I think not........

What can I say? I've been busy! Yesterday was the last day of school (for the year) for my eldest. I was SO extremely busy last week with all that! On Monday I had to work so I could take Wednesday off, Tuesday morning I went to Roller SkateLand with her class (the youngest was at preschool), on Wednesday I went to the Lakes with her class (youngest got to come with me), on Thursday I went to the park with my youngest's preschool class, and then on Friday I went to work early so I could get off early for the ice cream party for the last day of school for the eldest. I LOVED every minute of it!!!

I was the room parent (it seems so odd to say "was", rather than "am", since school's just out) for my eldest's class. I have to say, I enjoyed being the room parent SOOOOOO much!!! I got to know all of the kids, got to know more parents and got to help out so much more than I ever have in previous years. Since I work, and have Jordan, it's so hard to be able to help out on a regular basis in the classroom. I was able to help out a little more when she was in preschool though.

A couple of friends of mine kept teasing me that I was trying to be an "UberMom" with the room parent thing. In a sense, yes, I was. I wanted to be the best room mom I could be. :) I just didn't want to do it half-assed, you know? We would joke too, that I was just "sucking up" and would make sucking noises when I did something. (It's an inside joke, because one parent, who I absolutely can't stand, accused me of trying to "one-up" or "outdo" all the other parents. Whatever............ At least I can laugh about it now!)

I made a scrapbook for my eldest's teacher for the end of the year. It included a picture of each student an then a note of thank you or recognition to the teacher beside it. After that, I included most of the events that took place in their classroom, and then at the end of that, I had 4 pages of thank you notes from parents too. I could tell her teacher liked it a lot. He told me that he's a very sentimental person and he was very happy about it. (I actually got embarrassed and was at a loss for words, which is quite odd for me. )

Sooo :::::::::::::::::sucking noises::::::::::::, one up for me! HAHAHA!!! Oh, I am SOOOO joking about that! I made that scrapbook BECAUSE I know he's a sentimental guy and he is SUCH a wonderful teacher! In a way, he makes learning SO much fun for the kids! The kids are interactive in their learning, doing simulations in class so they learn about it while they are having fun! I appreciate all the work he does for those kids (including my own, of course), and I just wanted to show my gratitude. Plus I took a lot of pictures throughout the year (he takes tons and puts them on his class website so the parents can see what's going on in the classroom. And plus I love to scrapbook! I LOVE seeing people's expressions when I give them a scrapbook. I think it all comes down to the fact that I love to make things for people. My mom always loved the things I made for her. One year I made her a calendar and she loved it so much she didn't take it down after the year was over for quite a while! I made her two little scrapbooks as well.

So, was it "sucking up"? Hell no. I just like to show my appreciation for people who are nice. :)

A Seinfeld Moment......

Okay, wow, it's sure been a long time since I posted! Ahhh, life gets in the way and sometimes there's just not all that much to write about!

I do have to write about a "Seinfeld" moment my littlest one had today. She had just come out of the bathtub with her older sister. Hubby and I were sitting on the couch eating chips and salsa. She comes up, grabs a chip, dips it in the salsa, takes a bite that has the salsa and then tosses the chip back in the bowl! We were so shocked! Then it reminded us of that Seinfeld episode of the "double dipping" in the dip bowl. Remember that? Well, geez, this was like that, except she didn't double dip, she just tossed it back in the bowl! Hubby started imitating her and we were just both cracking up at that.

You know, it's the little things in life that make it amusing, and sometimes the little ones in our life make it that much more enjoyable. :)

Girl, You Are Choco-Crazy!

Actually, this post has nothing to do with chocolate....

I was looking at my eldest's BOP magazine, and there were these quizzes to take. One was "Are you a Choco-holic?" And and the end if you were, you were "Choco-Crazy!" LOL!!! Ahhh, that phrase just made me laugh and will probably make me laugh all day long, and I'll probably be saying it all day long, driving everybody crazy all day long!

Ahhhh.....I remember the days of reading Tiger Beat magazine and all those other pre-teen and teen magazines. It was such a fun time! I got so excited when I would see my favorite stars in there with a poster I could tear out and hang on my wall! My eldest? Does the same. She's 10 1/2, although she doesn't hang them up on the wall, she puts them in a binder so they don't get ruined. Mine were up on the wall, in my corner of the room that I shared with my sisters. I had the top bunk bed, so I definitely had more wall space.

My eldest is getting into those years when she is starting to like boys, but it's still just the 5th grade "crush" thing, and it's like, "On a scale of 1 - 20, how much does he like me?" With all the friends going over to the boys and asking that, and back and forth. The time when the boy and girl who like each other don't really do much talking to each other at all. Their friends are the "go-between". I remember when I was in 5th grade, a boy named Mark Newman asked me to go out and I just couldn't give him a decision very easily. If I went out with him, would I have to kiss him? I didn't know if I was ready to kiss a boy yet. Yikes! Well, it turns out that I waited to long to give him an answer, because he ended up asking this girl Martha out, because I'm sure she did kiss. Ahhhh, the drama of being in 5th grade.

And you know.......the drama only gets worse as they grow older. As of right now, my eldest tells me just about everything her and her friends talk about, including boys. I want to keep reiterating to her that she can always tell me everything. I have to try and remember what it was like back when I was her age so that I CAN relate to it better, and not just think of me as THE MOM. Of course I have to be THE MOM when it comes to things she shouldn't do, or can't do, but I try to give her reasons as to why, you know? I just want to be as open as I can with her, and for her to be the same way to me. I want to help guide her through making the right choices, and learn from the wrong ones, and help to avoid some of those wrong ones. I've got a vault full of wrong choices me and my friends have done through the years, to help educate my girls.

You know, we may have made some poor choices growing up, (and just some, really only a few, because I think that we all had such a blast growing up, and all my friends that I have grown up with have turned out to be fabulous people), but we did have a blast!

And it sure is interesting to hear what the new "lingo" is these days as my girls get older. Gotta keep up with the new phrases you know..........

.........because, "Girl, you are Choco-Crazy!!"

Mundane............

........life here. Really..... Nothing has happened that much in my life in the past couple of weeks that has been worth writing about.

Well, my youngest was a holy terror last weekend, but I blame that on the full moon. My MIL asked if she grew claws and fur and started howling, and I said no, just horns.

Valentine's Day was nice, hubby brought me home flowers and I made heart shaped meatloaf and molded the rice into heart shapes as well. Hosted my oldest's classroom party for Valentines. Did goody bags for the kids, made heart shaped chocolate lollipops, had fruit punch soda, made cookies and even made heart shaped ice cubes for their drinks. Yes, can we say "Ubermom Day" for me? LOL!! Or as my friend likes to say, "OVERACHIEVER!" LOL!!! Hey, if I'm going to do it, might as well go overboard! :) This is going to be the only time I'll be room mom for quite a while. Maybe when my youngest is in 2nd grade or so, I'll do it again.

Ahhh....it's a Sunday night and the oldest is cleaning out her hamster cage, the youngest is watching hubby play the Simpsons on Playstation 2, and I am her vegging on the computer. Somedays you just need to have that vegging you know?

So like I said, life has been pretty mundane for the most part, no major emotions have been going on in my life, nobody's pissed me off majorly, which is definitely a good thing! :D

Ta!