A Bittersweet Year.....

Today my eldest child was saying how this year has been such a good year. It is, and it isn't....

So far this year, I've lost 25 pounds so far, I'm in so much better shape, I'm so much more active, I'm the room mom for the eldest child's class, the youngest is in preschool and getting a handle on potty training, I helped my eldest's class to win the prize for the most creative basket for the silent auction at school, and yet.........it's the first year without my mom........

So many good things have been going on this year and yes, I'm happy about that. But I'm also so very sad that I don't have my mom anymore and that I can't just pick up the phone and call her and tell her about everything that's going on. Oh, I know she knows what's going on, I know she watches over us, but still, it's not the same.

I was looking at her picture the other day and just thinking about how I'm the oldest of me and my siblings, and how, because I'm the oldest, I was automatically the one who was supposed to be the more responsible one and help my mom. Of course now, I'm the executor for her estate. But she knew I was to be the one to do it. She made sure I knew to be responsible and fair.

Sigh............